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confused about my boyfriend.

My boyfriend had sex with one of his ex girlfriends before we got together and she came to him saying she was pregnant with his child. He doesn't think it is his because the dates are about 3 weeks off from when they had sex. And since finding out she was pregnant he has only spoken to her a few times. He keeps saying he doesn't want to have anything to do with her because she will get the wrong idea and think he wants to be with her. He kept telling me once the baby is born he will get a patrnity test done and take care of the baby, but still doesn't want anything to do with the mother. She had her son on march 22 I found out via her myspace page, and he still hasn't called her. I brought it up to him last night and he got really upset about it. He did promised he would call her today and he hasn't as of yet. Any one have oppions or advice on how I should handle this.


Asked by Anonymous at 8:35 PM on Apr. 28, 2009 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (7)
  • Can we say complicated!? I'd say give him 85% percent of your trust and ALWAYS leave 15% for doubt! Its easy to jump to conclusions but the fact that he snapped at you questioning him, I'd worry! I'm not trying to hurt you!!! I'm giving you my honest oppinion! My bd had a baby with his other baby mama(I was 6 months pregnant with my twins when she called to inform me she had his 1 month old son!)! Since its been a living hell and I am paying for not leaving his ass then, but that's my situation and not necessarily yours!!! Give him 2 weeks tops to set things straight if he doesn't cut him loose, if he's not open and honest now he never will be!!!

    Answer by ladyd6280 at 8:44 PM on Apr. 28, 2009

  • Sounds like he's bailing on her. I'd give him an ultimatum. Step up and be a man, find out if the baby really is his, or ship out.

    Answer by Ati_13 at 8:37 PM on Apr. 28, 2009

  • I would personally sit down with him and start by telling him all of the ways that you can understand why he feels the way that he does. then tell him all of your reasons for how you feel. ask his opinion on the matter, and then drop it. only he can make the decision. JMO

    Answer by vbongard at 8:38 PM on Apr. 28, 2009

  • Just be supportive of him and don't push. If you two weren't together when he was having sex with her it isn't really fair to be upset if the child is here. If it is his...well...I guess then you two will have to decide about wanting custody or visitation or whatever, and go to court. The other woman should respect that he would want the child but not her and if she can't.....just make sure he keeps on telling her and making his stance known.

    Answer by ajguinn at 8:39 PM on Apr. 28, 2009


    Answer by shawanda at 8:46 PM on Apr. 28, 2009

  • You call her

    Answer by admckenzie at 8:56 PM on Apr. 28, 2009

  • Thanks everyone! yea we did talk a long time last light after he got upset and did talk about how he feels and I explained why it conserned me that he hadn't called her yet. The conversation boiled down to him promising to call her today(his idea I'm thinking however only because he thought that that was what I was trying to get him to do, I was really only wanting him explain why he hadn't called her yet). I already have 2 little boys so another one would NOT be a big deal part or full time. It just really upset me that he promised and then never called, who knows maybe he forgot and will call tomorrow. I hope so I don't want to be with someone who doesn't take care of their resposibilities or makes promises they have no intention to keep.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:05 PM on Apr. 28, 2009

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