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what do u ladies consider cheating and should he be given another chance

i found some IM's between my so and some whore online . the way the messeges are worded makes it seems like they were sharing dirty pics and possibley playing on cam. keep in mind at the time i was preggo and had one child already its been almost a yr and he doesnt use IM anymore but should i have done something different ?


Asked by Anonymous at 10:44 PM on Apr. 28, 2009 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (10)
  • I would consider that a form of cheating for sure. My husband did something similar through text messaging. Man, I was I ready to cut off his balls. I did give him one more chance and he's been good ever since. Now if my husband actually cheated on me, by meeting up with her...I would have left and would have taken him to court. He would be living with his mama by the time I got through with him- 3 children for child support and alimony.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:24 AM on Apr. 29, 2009

  • Cheating is: if you wouldn't do it in front of your SO then it's wrong.

    Answer by TheDiva320 at 10:45 PM on Apr. 28, 2009

  • I gave my SO another chance after I found a text message and he cheated on me 5 months later, so really its your call but never again am i gonna give second chances!! i hope to hell that hes really sorry and that he wont do it again but hes lost my trust completely!!!

    Answer by Breezy1988 at 10:45 PM on Apr. 28, 2009

  • Add insult to injury when you were prego, you are the mother of his child! That son of a bitch. Ask yourself this question, if things were opposite and it was you who did it, would he be willing to stay in the relationship? Bet your ass he wouldn't or he would give you hell for it everyday, so that's my answer. One is too many for me anyways. Foul me once, shame on you, foul me twice, shame on me kind of thing.

    Answer by bebita at 10:49 PM on Apr. 28, 2009

  • i did the same thing. i gave mine the second chance, he has set the computer up in the living room and he no longer stays up to "play games" after i go to bed. he also willingly gave me the passwords for his accounts, i did not ask for them he gave them to me. we are fine now, so it can work out. i considered it a form of cheating, and it doesn't help that it is while you are pregnant, that makes you feel even worse i know. its really up to you and how you work on your relationship. if its been working for you guys and you feel you can trust him again than its ok for you. if you can't trust him though, that is going to have you wondering all the time what he is doing. good luck

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:56 PM on Apr. 28, 2009

  • Technically, that is not cheating. But pretty damn close. And pretty damn heartless if he was doing it while you were pregnant with his child. I would be seaching for a secret cellphone. And keep your eyes open. What is to keep him from going further? You are better than that!!!

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:00 PM on Apr. 28, 2009

  • You go bebita! That is my feeling s on it. What bebita said. :)

    Answer by lincsmom74 at 11:03 PM on Apr. 28, 2009

  • you can forgive but its pretty much impossible to forget i believe everyone deserves second chances but thats it.

    Answer by lienna at 11:03 PM on Apr. 28, 2009

  • To me, cheating is physical contact.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:18 PM on Apr. 28, 2009

  • I would go with the DIVA on this one. If he wouldnt do it in front of you, then he shouldnt have been doing it at all. But I also think that intent is important too. If my husband was doing something like that just to get his "thing" on, I would be hurt that he didnt come to me and annoyed that he went to someone else. But I also understand most men's yurn for change. I let my husband watch porn regardless of the fact that I dont want him too. If all he is doing is looking at pics or movies and wacking it, ill just get some much needed sleep and let him know on my way to bed that the real thing is here when he wants it. Of course Ill be in a slinky nightie when I do it and seal it with a kiss.
    IMO, he was probably just looking for some "interactive porn" to help him get off. He wasnt saying lets meet up, or what is your number, or "you wanna make this real" so I would remember that, they get a pic, you get the real deal.

    Answer by HunnysFarAway at 2:06 AM on Apr. 29, 2009