Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

A little brother or sister for your only child...how to decide?

Well, I was set on just having one child. But, now that my son is almost a year old I am thinking about having another. I think I would like him to have a sibling to grow up with. I see my niece who is now 12 that was an only child and how lonely she is and basically very grown up for her age because she was always around adults. I think I would like my son to have that little brother or sister to play with as he grows up. But, is this a good enough reason to have another child? I am questioning myself. My husband is in the Navy and I am a SAHM so finances are tight. Are finances a reason to just have one child? It seems so weird to say "well we only had one child because thats all we could afford." I had two sisters growing up and we didn't have much because my dad worked and my mom stayed home but we didn't mind at all we were kids and money didn't matter. What do you think? I would love your opinions?

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:13 AM on Apr. 29, 2009 in Babies (0-12 months)

Answers (13)
  • I think that if you wait until you can afford it you won't have another one. If you want a second child, and your family will be able to manage without government assistance, then go for it. That is what I will be doing when Kaylee is about 2.
    CarolynBarnett

    Answer by CarolynBarnett at 10:16 AM on Apr. 29, 2009

  • i always wanted more than one kid & i didn't want my daughter to be an only child b/c i wanted her to have a playmate..... i'm so glad she'll have a little brother this summer b/c i ADORED my brother growing up
    josiesmommy00

    Answer by josiesmommy00 at 10:21 AM on Apr. 29, 2009

  • I'm a SAHM of 3 boys, so a family of 5 can be rough at times but I can't imagine only having one child. I have 2 younger siblings and we had a blast growing up. I would love to have family gatherings when my boys are older, lots of grandkids running around. My boys LOVE and ADORE each other. I can't imagine life w/o them.
    azn_ladie82

    Answer by azn_ladie82 at 10:24 AM on Apr. 29, 2009

  • I personally would have another, a know how much I love my siblings and I want my dd to also be able to have that, and we are pretty poor it's going to be a stuggle for us but that's ok it's worth it to me. And I don't want this to be the last baby I ever have, they're wonderful! But it's really up to you to deciede what's right for your family, if you're ok just having one than just have one, but if you feel like there will always be something missing if you don't have another, than do it.
    Liz132

    Answer by Liz132 at 10:25 AM on Apr. 29, 2009

  • I think that is a great reason to have a second child. It's not like your son will be the only one to benefit from it-you'll love that child too. As for finances- they will always be tight. Imo anyway. My husband and I refuse to plan our children based on finances, and so far things have always worked out, and we've always been able to provide. If you wait until you can "afford" the child, you'll be waiting for a long long time.
    julipickle2

    Answer by julipickle2 at 10:29 AM on Apr. 29, 2009

  • I would have more. But that's because I have 3 younger sisters and have a lot of family. I have a 5 month and we plan on ttc when she's 1. I want her to at least have another sibling, so that she can share that bond that I did with my sisters.

    cynprz

    Answer by cynprz at 10:33 AM on Apr. 29, 2009

  • My mom had 2 and struggled but we were content with what we had! We never had the stuff my kids have now(comp w/ internet, game console, ect.), but I made it that way. It depends how much you can/ are willing to cut back(we have basic cbl($9.95) and rr(29.95). Other than that yes he should have a playmate!!! Sit down with dh and workout a budget. If you find not enough left over for much of anything hold off!!!
    ladyd6280

    Answer by ladyd6280 at 10:35 AM on Apr. 29, 2009

  • I don't think there is anything wrong with having only one. Of coarse you want whats best for your child. I'm struggling with that question myself right now. My baby girl is almost a year old, my husband wants another one. I would like another one, but I can't imagine going through another C-section while having a toddler in tow. Maybe if I had some family that could help me out, but I'm here alone and have no one to count on. Plus I'm too old, I thought this was going to be the best time of my life. But at the end of the day I feel like I've been ran over by a mack truck, and I didn't make a dent in anything I needed to get done. I don't know how you women with more than one do it. My husband and I both have one sibling each, and neither of us are close with them. My sister and I faught like cats and dogs.
    sweetpea6608

    Answer by sweetpea6608 at 10:55 AM on Apr. 29, 2009

  • Honestly having 2 kids isn't much more out of pocket than just one....especially if they end up being the same sex. I had one son and had such a hard delivery I vowed never to do it again but then it wasn't fair to my son...I am now pregnant again and they will be about 27 months apart. It is enough for him to be independent on several things but still young enough to really get to play with the new baby (once old enough).
    My husband is in the army and I also am a sahm. Yes finances are tight but if you still have all your baby things you will only need a few new things with the new baby. I find the way around the finances is not buying things new except for diapers..ect. You can apply for wic (which if you are pregnant you are likely to receive) and I buy a lot of clothes and toys off yardsale sites/craigslist. It saves a lot of money so it saves the stress so you can concentrate on the kids. Good luck in your decision.
    rayelinsragz

    Answer by rayelinsragz at 11:14 AM on Apr. 29, 2009

  • I don't think there is anything wrong with one. I also don't think that having money makes a happy family. We didn't have a lot growing up b/c my dad dies when I was young and my mom was in nursing school but u do what u can to make it work. I want another one within a year, God willing and I'm not working and also NOT getting any govt assistance but u cut back when u can good luck!
    calliesmommie

    Answer by calliesmommie at 11:16 AM on Apr. 29, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.
close Cafemom Join now to connect to other members! Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN