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What should I say to my friend about her 1.5 year old?

I occastionally watch my friends son and she watches my two kids from time to time. Her son bites a lot. I know its because he cant verbally express how he's feeling. She has also told me the Daycare on base has said something to her multiple times about it. I've been watching him for about 2 hours and he has bit each child atleast twice that I have seen. (I was nursing the baby once and helping the other go potty when I think he may have bit the other times) He also tackles my kids when he gets mad. I dont want to ruin my friendship but I am sick of my kids having bruises from being bit or pushed to the ground. My husband has asked me to talk to her about having him screened for a sensory disorder to see if thats why he keeps biting. He doesnt want me watching him anymore until she does something about it but I feel bad saying no. What would you do in my situation?

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:50 AM on Apr. 29, 2009 in General Parenting

Answers (8)
  • let my kids knock the shit out of him or bite him bsck & then dare her to say something to me
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:51 AM on Apr. 29, 2009

  • I would find a pamphlet or a website specifically siting the biting and non-talking as symptoms, and then maybe mention it to her. Lie to her...tell her you have a cousin across the country you were chatting with, and that SHE was complaining of a friends baby who was doing that and it turned out to be __________. Bring it up in casual conversation, plant the seed. See if she thinks about it.
    CarolynBarnett

    Answer by CarolynBarnett at 10:53 AM on Apr. 29, 2009

  • i would tell her to start lightly tapping his mouth to let him know that biting is a no-no. My mom used to bite me back. well i should say bit me back because she did that once and i never bit again. but that is up to you. but i would say something to her because your kids are going to be affected by this. either they will start doing the same thing or they could get an infection from a human bite. good luck
    2wndrfl_btrflys

    Answer by 2wndrfl_btrflys at 10:53 AM on Apr. 29, 2009

  • I would tell her that it's a problem and you can't watch him anymore because he is hurting your children. If your husband doesn't want you to watch him and your having doubts about it too, then I think that's your answer. It might be awkward, but if she's a reasonable woman, she'll understand. She knows her child has a problem. She wouldn't let someone around her child if they were hurting him.
    jenlenr

    Answer by jenlenr at 10:56 AM on Apr. 29, 2009

  • Biting is so hard to deal with!! My DS bit my SS A LOT! That was actually why we ended up getting him tested for ADHD. He is lol. I am so sorry for what you are going through right now, it is so hard. I would say something to his mom and tell her that she either has to do something or she'll have to find someone else that can watch him, because with you watching other kids you cant.
    Peanut_Farley

    Answer by Peanut_Farley at 11:01 AM on Apr. 29, 2009

  • Op here. I talked to her and she said that she has an appt next friday with EDIS which is who screens the kids here in German on base. They screen for multiple things (I had my son tested for speach so I know that biting is something they ask about) She was truely sorry for him biting today so much that she started crying thinking I was mad at her. I'm not I wasjust upset at the situation today and the last few times I've sat for her. I'm going to be with her at the screening per her request to help explain the issues she's been having and I have when he's over here.
    kristinlimon

    Answer by kristinlimon at 12:47 PM on Apr. 29, 2009

  • That's good that she's getting him checked. While I would feel bad for her and her boy, I also have my own children that come first to me. That is why if I was in your shoes, I'd have said something too. I wouldn't want my kids getting hurt because I wanted to spare someone else their feelings, kwim?!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:59 PM on Apr. 29, 2009

  • I'd tell my kids to hit him right back! A few time sof her son getting put on his ass will work!
    There's an episode of Yes Dear we watched a few weeks ago that also dealt with bully kids, in kind of the same way.
    Vanessannd

    Answer by Vanessannd at 1:32 PM on Apr. 29, 2009

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