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My question is how to deal with stepdaughters mother. She is constantly telling her bad things about myself and her father. We have tried the just ignore it tactic but that doesnt work. It also upsets my stepdaughtr very much to hear her mom do this. Any advice?

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Asked by Anonymous at 10:57 AM on Apr. 29, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (6)
  • If it upsets your SD to hear her BM say these things, that means she knows that it is wrong and not true. The BM is just being jealous and vindictive...let your SD know that if she has any questions about what her mom is telling her, she is more than welcome to ask you about it and you will tell her honestly if there is any truth behind the hate.

    The most important thing you can do is not talk bad about her mom in front of her. Don't go to that level.

    Answer by CarolynBarnett at 10:59 AM on Apr. 29, 2009

  • my hubbys mother is like this with his dad and step mom, but even now, my 22 year old husband still has to hear it and we live in a competely different state, i dont think theres really anything you can do, talk to the mom explain how it makes her daughter feel maybe that will help.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:00 AM on Apr. 29, 2009

  • look through custody papers, I know that me and my DH have a No Bashing clause in there. I want to say it was added automatically and if my ex or his says anything they can be held in contempt of court

    Answer by Peanut_Farley at 11:06 AM on Apr. 29, 2009

  • You didn't mention the child's age. My oldest dd bad mouths me to her 8 yr old son. It upsets him. When I see him alone he cries about her talking about me and I tell him that I love him and I know he loves me and what mom says doesn't matter. She's an angry unhappy person and that's her issue and for us to just love each other and try to ignore the mean things she says.

    Answer by admckenzie at 11:10 AM on Apr. 29, 2009

  • My ex and the boys step-mom did the same thing....I never once told the myriad of things that I knew back. I sucked it up and took it and realized that one day they would know better when they were older because they have seen the truth. And you know what....they are now 22 and 24 and they love their Momma all the more.

    Hold your chin up....the fact that these things upset her means that she knows the truth. Keep an open line of communication with her and just be yourself. She knows far better than the Mom what the current situation is at your place. It will be all right in the long run.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:28 AM on Apr. 29, 2009

  • put some shock into the mother and take her to court for full custody because of the verbal abuse she is doing to her daughter maybe then she will knock it off and see she is only hurting her daughter she is SUPPOSE to love in the first place,I hate it when I hear parents use their kids to bash the other parent just because things didnt work out between them the child ALWAYS has to be the one hurt constantly,thats when the parents act like kids when the child acts like the adult trying to think in their mind how to put a stop to all this.Tell her mom to grow up and get on with life.

    Answer by momindistress08 at 3:29 PM on Apr. 29, 2009

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