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Only child getting sad

my son is 4 yrs old, he is an only child and I have noticed that he has been getting a little sad. He always questions, why cant he have a brother or sister like everyone else. See I have developed severe endomtetriosis from which I have had 4 surgeries on in 8 months and it has grew back all times within weeks. The drs told us that there is only a very slight chance of getting preg. We have been trying for over 3 years..and we have tried everything. How do I keep myself from feeling so guilty, when its not by choice this is happening. And how do I keep him from getting so bored and sad? thank you sooooo much:)

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AmeliaR

Asked by AmeliaR at 11:00 AM on Apr. 29, 2009 in Preschoolers (3-4)

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Answers (5)
  • Find him some friends for playdates, take him to parks and playplaces with other kids. Babysit a kid his age. Send him to a 2 day a week pre-school. He won't have time to think about it and he will see what he would have to share if he had another one in the house. My son never wanted siblings, because he was around so many kids and I babysat one his age.
    BradenIsMySon

    Answer by BradenIsMySon at 11:04 AM on Apr. 29, 2009

  • Well the thing is, is that you wouldnt' be having another child for your son, he wouldnt' be the one taking care of him/her. So feeling guilty really isn't productive. Endometriosis is a bitch, I had it. I was lucky that I was able to concieve my last child, I have 2. But if I couldn't have had my daughter, yes I would have been sad, but I wouldn't have had guilt. Even if I chose NOT to have anymore after my son, I wouldn't have had guilt. As far as bordedom and sadness from your son, he's at a great age for it, plus he is feeding off you and your hubby.
    Zakysmommy

    Answer by Zakysmommy at 11:06 AM on Apr. 29, 2009

  • I started a neighborhood playgroup. We meet every week and we get to know each other and our kids do to!
    MommaM2

    Answer by MommaM2 at 11:20 AM on Apr. 29, 2009

  • i have a friend that also has that. she feels guilty as well but she does not let on with her little one. she makes it a positive thing. i don't know exactly what she says though. i would get a book to help you communicate the positive things so that you can talk to your son in an effective way and it will probably help you with your feelings of guilt over not being able to have another child. don't worry, studies show that there are definitely benefits to being an only child. i just went on the barnes and noble website and quickly found titles on the subject. visiting the bookstore would be best though. the staff is always so helpful. good luck and don't be so hard on yourself you are doing all that you can :)
    nairda

    Answer by nairda at 11:21 AM on Apr. 29, 2009

  • I have an only, who's four and doesn't really want a baby, but would like an older brother. It's not really an issue for us, but when it comes up we say, "but then we wouldn't have so much time to spend with you. You'd have to share us." Which seems to do the trick. Maybe you're projecting your disappointment on him. In a lot of ways not having a sibling is a good thing, just stress those ideas. And I agree preschool, classes, playdates are all really important. GL!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:12 PM on Apr. 29, 2009

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