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Life mother.... I'd never seen this term before instead of birth mother...I like it! What do you think?

I saw this term used on a site that offers adoption gifts. LIFE mother. Sounds less impersonal that "birth" mother, and a more accurate description that "natural" or assigning ordinal positions to mothers (as in "first" mother.

Wouldn't it be great if this was a term the whole triad would love? I really like it!!

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 12:43 PM on Apr. 29, 2009 in Adoption

This question is closed.
Answers (14)
  • Words are important. Not b/c of beilng politically correct. But because words can cut and wound. Words also have the power to bring peace and comfort. In the case of adoption words also describe feelings as well as a relationship. So for some people the words used will differ depending on their feelings and relationship to the people involved. I personally don't call myself and adoptive mom as a title except on this board. I'm just my child's mom. I don't like when articles say her two biological children and her adopted child. It is just she has three children. But the child growing up does need to have a way to talk about the woman who gave birth to him or her and needs to have a word that matches the feelings they have. Over the years the words may change. But as a mom to my child I want to foster good feelings about his biological mother so I use positive language to convey the special link they have.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:30 PM on Apr. 29, 2009

  • You know...my little brother is adopted and struggles with it every single day. He will probably never know who his birth mother is, but I think that the term "Life Mother" could also be used for the adoptive mother...I think it is sweet for that as well ya know?? Instead of the term "adoptive mother" I HATE that term.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:53 PM on Apr. 29, 2009

  • I like it for the birth mom because she is the one that gave life, but yes, I do see how it could be used for the adoptive mom too. But for kids, the adoptive mom is really just "Mommy", so having a more personal word for the birth mom is necessary when explaining to them.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:55 PM on Apr. 29, 2009

  • I have to say that I like it too..
    I can not
    stand
    FIRST
    MOTHER!!
    Dannee

    Answer by Dannee at 1:21 PM on Apr. 29, 2009

  • The word"Lifemother", is given in place of "Birthmother". Skye Hardwick, is a "Lifemother", because she felt that she was MORE than a mother who gave birth. In searching in her heart, she knew that much for sure, and the to words being put together seemed more appropriate. So in reality, the words represent. a Firstmother/Naturalmother/Birthmother, what follows is the definition behind 'Lifemother".....~Life' in Lifemother represents the choice made to carry the pregnancy to term,and taking care of ones body. ~'Life' in Lifemother represents the continuous role one plays in our childs life- even if the adoption is closed, I will always pray for, and think about my beloved child. ~'Life' in Lifemother represents the truth that my role did not end at birth, but continues for Life. ~'Life' in Lifemother represents the truth that even though I am not a Parent to my child, I will always be 1 of her mothers from near or afar..
    ceejay1

    Answer by ceejay1 at 1:33 PM on Apr. 29, 2009

  • ~'Life in Lifemother also represents the truth that my child has a RIGHT to a good Life, and so do I ! As my childs Lifemother, I hope for a promising future and a rewarding Life. LIFEMOTHERS: Because a Birthmother's role does NOT end at "Birth", but continues for LIFE! Feel free to go to LIFEMOTHERS.COM! I hope this has helped, for it truly is a great term that any mother whom has relinquished, would be honored to be "labeled"......Blessings, C.J.
    ceejay1

    Answer by ceejay1 at 1:39 PM on Apr. 29, 2009

  • I dont like it because the first thought that comes to mind is the Mom who will "be there for life", not the Mom who "gave life". In many situations (not yours Ceejay obviously), the mother is not in the picture because she lost that privledge (like foster care). In that case her "role" ended at court termination.

    I like when foster children can use the same terms as children through domestic adoption.

    Not trying to knock anyones role in the triad, it just would not work for me.

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:18 PM on Apr. 29, 2009

  • I just don't know why we constantly have to walk on eggshells and be so stinking politically correct when it comes to trying to classify ourselves.

    If you have given birth to a child, then you are a birthmother.
    If you have adopted a child, then you are an adoptive mother.

    It's really not all that difficult. I think more people waste time thinking of new names that won't offend than anything else. It just seems crazy to me.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:43 PM on Apr. 29, 2009

  • Because Infant adoption and foster adoption is lumped under the same word "Adoption", I have to agree with the poster above me. (I wish foster adoption had a different word than adoption, because I feel the two are completely different.)


    I reject the idea that birth mother is impersonal, giving birth is very intimate and personal. I also reject that being a birth mother limits me to birth. Giving birth is HUGE! Many adoptive moms would give their right arms to be able to do it. I wear my birth mother label as a badge of honor; "I'm Danny's birth mother." Sounds good.

    onethentwins

    Answer by onethentwins at 3:53 PM on Apr. 29, 2009

  • I also agree with Anon 2:18; I personally think 'life mother' sounds like the mom who will be there 'for life', which is generally more appropriate for the adoptive mom, especially when the child was removed from the birth parents due to abuse and neglect. Just my personal opinion. As the other poster said, it would not work for our family.

    I also think we need positive, consistent adoption terms (ideally that don't keep changing) so as not to confuse our kids, and those not as familiar with adoption. A lot of people not connected to adoption are just now learning to use 'birth parents' instead of' 'natural parents'.
    ForeverMom05

    Answer by ForeverMom05 at 4:20 PM on Apr. 29, 2009

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