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How can I get my husband to be more helpful around the house?

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Neecee66

Asked by Neecee66 at 1:23 PM on Apr. 29, 2009 in Relationships

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Answers (18)
  • if you ever find the answer to that one let me know!

    woobie102

    Answer by woobie102 at 1:28 PM on Apr. 29, 2009

  • When he helps don't nag that he didn't do it the way you want. I am a SAHM so I do most of the housework. My child is in school so there is not reason for me not to. I do expect him to pick up after himself and on the weekends he cleans the bathrooms and does yardwork. He helps with the dinner dishes. I learned to step back and allow him to help without nagging. Many men want to help but they know if they do and it is not done the way the wife likes she will probably nag. So why bother. Talk to him about it in a mature way.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:30 PM on Apr. 29, 2009

  • tell him you will give him a "treat" for every chore he does!
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 1:30 PM on Apr. 29, 2009

  • Well, what are you doing now that isn't working to try and get him to be helpful? How much/little does he do around the house? How much does he work, do you work? What exactly would you like him to do?

    My husband is very helpful around the house, but as usual, I carry the load more than he does (I work btw), so, when I feel overwhelmed and need him to pitch in more I just ask him. That's all it takes in my house.
    gramsmom

    Answer by gramsmom at 1:30 PM on Apr. 29, 2009

  • What helps for me is to ask very nicely and then make a big deal about it, also don't ask right when he comes home. We all need some down time. If you are at home and he is working then he may resent being asked when he first comes in. I have found with mine that if I ask after dinner he is much more responsive, or on weekends when it is less busy for him.
    teamquinn

    Answer by teamquinn at 1:31 PM on Apr. 29, 2009

  • Ditto..... my DH just said to our son last night "we're keeping the house clean - so you can pick up your room"..... I literally leaned over and checked his shirt pocket (for that mouse he must be talking about). He just looked at me and grinned. Now, to be fair... if I ask him for help, he's on it. But I have to ask. I don't think he's done any substantial cleaning since we married.... which is funny because one of his days off was always devoted to laundry and cleaning..... now it's devoted to napping and internet surfing.
    PaceMyself

    Answer by PaceMyself at 1:31 PM on Apr. 29, 2009

  • i just recently went through this, i have a 2 month baby and a 6 year old and i work, my husband works a full time job and he wasnt helping me do anything so i told him that if he doesnt want to help me around the house or with the kids then dont ask me to do s*@t for him i have enough to do with out him piling it on, and since then he has been going out of his way to help me.
    cobysmom151

    Answer by cobysmom151 at 1:44 PM on Apr. 29, 2009

  • All I ever have to do is ask, but the guy's a freaking saint.
    Fistandantalus

    Answer by Fistandantalus at 2:04 PM on Apr. 29, 2009

  • We discuss this question all the time over at SWWD. I am a SAHM. Housework, cooking and the like are MY job and bringing home a paycheck is HIS job. I don't ask him to do housework and he does not ask me to write evals or fix a front end loader. He works hard. Just because I can't see it doesn't mean that he doesn't. The last thing he deserves is to come home and do MY job too. That's the way I see it anyway. You didn't give much info on your situation.

    TessaBianca

    Answer by TessaBianca at 2:06 PM on Apr. 29, 2009

  • I am a sahm and my kids are in the home all day with me. Sometimes I ask my husband to pick up the living room or maybe unloading the dishwasher. It isn't a big deal. I just ask and if he says yes then I move on from it. Nagging can get things done, but then you're left with negative feelings and a bit of resentment. We do switch off on the dishes though. We try to switch it up sometimes. He has played mr. mom before so he understands that there is more to watching kids then feeding and changing diapers.
    etsmom

    Answer by etsmom at 2:17 PM on Apr. 29, 2009

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