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My boyfriend watches porn on the net and it bothers me

my boyfriend watches porn on the net, its not like i dont like sex but since my son was born he loves to watch it, the thing is he does it behind my back i have checked his iphone history and he watches it at work! and when i am gone with the baby somewhere, i off him sex all the time but most times refuses it. either says he is too tired or not in the mood, but i think he is not in the mood because earlier that day he has jacked it to porn at work or something. it makes me angry because i already feel like i am fat and ugly since having my son and now i feel he wants a better looking woman. i have confronted him many times about how it makes me feel and asked him not to do it and if he wants sex just tell me and i will be more than happy, but he still continues, what do you think?


Asked by Anonymous at 1:48 PM on Apr. 29, 2009 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (10)
  • Well you need to sit him down and let him know if it continues your not going to stay with him if its that big of a problem. I put a block on it at our house as we had a family member staying with us doing it and I don't allow it in my home so we blocked it. If he is disrespecting you then you need to stand up for yourself and dont let him run you down or make you feel bad about yourself. Its an issue within him and not you.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:51 PM on Apr. 29, 2009

  • I agree with the above poster. This sounds like a serious problem. 1) He's doing it at work and 2) because you've already asked him to stop and he still does it. You should NOT have to put up with this and you shouldn't. Tell him it's either YOU or the porn. He may be addicted to and if he is, that's another ball game in itself. Sit down with him and tell him you will not tolerate it because there are men out there that have respect for women and don't view porn.


    Answer by legalmommy101 at 2:03 PM on Apr. 29, 2009

  • He may be a porn addict, which is rather serious business. If he is addicted to porn, he's going to need a lot of support and therapy; just telling him "it's me or the porn" isn't going to help at all, so open a calm dialogue with him to express your feelings and encourage him to open up to you about his reasons (his REAL reasons) for all the excessive-porn-watching.

    Answer by Fistandantalus at 2:03 PM on Apr. 29, 2009

  • He needs to make the choice to give it up before she can do anything. Even if he does have an addiction, if he refuses to acknowledge it, there's nothing a therapist can do for him.Something like this " It needs to be " me or the porn".If you choose me and you think you have a problem with porn, I'll help you in anyway I can and we'll start first with therapy."


    Answer by legalmommy101 at 2:08 PM on Apr. 29, 2009

  • AT WORK? What the *&^%$% kind of job does he have where he can masturbate to porn?

    By the way, my real answer, get counseling. He's got issues, and if your relationship is going to survive, you will need professional help.

    Your body is a miraculous thing that just produced a human being from two microscopic cells. It's beautiful, and he should think so, too!
    Best of luck to you!

    Answer by Jodie118 at 2:11 PM on Apr. 29, 2009

  • It's a real addiction- sad but true. My DH went through it. It's hard 2 overcome. Go to and look up "pornography" on the site and it will have some really good info on there for you. They even have addiction recovery classes somewhere in your area, probably. Good luck and don't put up with it, but be understanding that its like being addicted to drugs.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:27 PM on Apr. 29, 2009

  • My boyfriend watches porn occasionally, but he's definitely not addicted to it (eg, watching it at work, etc). He is just as attracted to me sexually as he always was. Your hubby is to him and tell him he needs help.

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:39 PM on Apr. 29, 2009

  • I just went through this with my husband. but we were both doing it and not each other. got in the habit while i was prego cuz the real thing hurt. After I had my son I realized mental monogamy. To not fantasize or lust for others. I have shared this with my husband and we both quit masturbating. When you fantasize about your woman your desire for her increases. Read the book "My brain does not cheat on my wife." Before we were prego porn was never around. So my man didn't take much work. However you have a problem on your hands if he would rather do himself than you. I do not think you will break him of this. He has a major problem. Most men would much rather be with a woman. But ask yourself what you are like in bed? Either way, I would leave him if I were you. There are many men out there who would much rather have the real thing. He has a serious problem if he'd rather do that and not you!!!

    Answer by Tickledtrauma at 6:40 PM on Apr. 29, 2009

  • -original poster-
    see in bed during sex its great i always try and spice it up and i give head ALOT which most girls wont do, i enjoy it, and when i am on my period we dont have sex so i offer him a blow job all the time to make up for it, its not like the sex is lacking its just he watches porn at work on his iphone, and at home when I am away and gets mad when i confront him about it, i even search the history and watch a few videos he watches and try and do things those girls do too thinking he will like it and he does, i offered to do a threesome with another girl-its actually my fantasy and he wont do it. I just dont understand

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:58 PM on Apr. 29, 2009

  • oh and for those of you trying to send out advice for a church you need to stop! I am not religious and I hate being forced into it.

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:09 PM on Apr. 29, 2009