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i seriously can't take it anymore....

i really really can't. i joke with dh that if i had life insurance, i'd kill myself and then at least he and the kids would have money. but i'm only sorta joking. we have been under tremendous financial stress for the past couple of years. yesterday the irs put a lien on one of our accounts. dh got paid in cash, so i took that and i'm basically hiding it so i know i can buy food for the kids.

we haven't lost the house- yet. but we're selling it because we need the equity to get out from under all this debt. so we're losing it anyway. and with our credit history, i'm really scared that no one will rent to us, even though by then we'll have money from the house.

how do i keep going?

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 2:33 PM on Apr. 29, 2009 in Money & Work

Answers (9)
  • you have to realize that it will get worse before it gets better.. but one day it will all be okay and work out. don't do anything stupid. trust me.. you might have to start from scratch, but starting from scratch and having your family by your side is better then not being here at all.
    You will teach your children what it is like to really have to work and beat stress.
    You can do it, many many many people these days are going through what you are.
    Trust me. It will be okay in the end, cause if its not then its not the end :)
    amy31308

    Answer by amy31308 at 2:38 PM on Apr. 29, 2009

  • Is there any way you could call HUD and see if they can help you?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:38 PM on Apr. 29, 2009

  • First off suicide will leave them with NOTHING. And that is a cowards way out. No matter how bad things are loosing their mother and wife will never make things better. Start looking for a place to rent now. Most places will work with you and the sooner the better. Be honest with them and if you have the money to put down and maybe a few months rent you have a better chance. Killing yourself will leave your husband and kids both wondering what THEY did to cause it and that is not fair to them. Life insurance only pays out for accidental deaths and things like that unless you have it set up to cover suicide which is usually hard to get as most companies wont pay for you killing yourself. Do you work? If not get a job to help out and make the best of a bad situation. Things could turn around in a second and be thankful for your family and what you do have.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:38 PM on Apr. 29, 2009

  • For the most part, not every person does a credit check before they rent to you! Also, you can slowly build back your credit but in the mean time, dont go overboard, just get what you and the family have to have and try to not go and get what you want, if that makes sense.
    SweetKYmom

    Answer by SweetKYmom at 2:39 PM on Apr. 29, 2009

  • You kids need you more than they need money. someone will rent to you. They will grow up and admire you for for surviving struggles. Plenty of kids have grown up with financial struggles and turned out fine, but without a mother its not good!!! Let this be a lesson for your family and redefine in your head what is important. They don't need vacation..they need a mom to play a board game and show them no matter how much money you have you will always be there for them!! You can do it mama!!!
    ria7

    Answer by ria7 at 2:44 PM on Apr. 29, 2009

  • Have you talked to a bankrupsy lawyer. My sister filed & is much better off. Sorry don't know all details about it, but she was able to keep her house. Couldn't hurt to look at all resources.
    chaster

    Answer by chaster at 2:47 PM on Apr. 29, 2009

  • this is op...i'm a sahm, but i also do work at dh's office so he doesn't have to pay someone to do it (saves us about 2k a month) and i take in some other work that i can do at home. i don't spend money on anything but food and bills. i get the kids' clothes at a consignment shop that will take trades. i'm doing every single thing i can think of and still we have creditors calling all day long every day. i just don't know what to do anymore. it all started because i had really bad complications with my last pregnancy and couldn't work for six months. then she was sick after she was born. i can't remember the last time i felt anything besides this overwhelming, crushing stress.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:47 PM on Apr. 29, 2009

  • Ok, well first, when you have these thoughts, remind yourself that life insurance generally has a clause that will not pay out if you commit suicide, and with all the financial pressure you're under, be assured they would investigate and figure it out.
    Second, I know how hard it is. I am a single mom and I lost my job last May, haven't found anything since then. I just got a job that I start Friday, and will be able to finally start getting back on my feet. So, just keep reminding yourself that you are not the only one struggling, it does make it easier (for me, anyway) when I think that I am one of thousands who is dealing with this same problem. As for the creditors calling, do you have caller ID? If so, check it; don't pick up if it's a creditor. Don't pick up if it's unknown, out of area, private number, or otherwise unrecognized. Or let the machine pick up and delete the messages. Spend time with your family.
    tropicalmama

    Answer by tropicalmama at 3:07 PM on Apr. 29, 2009

  • First, insurance companies do not pay out for suicides.
    Next, please check your town for social services agencies that can help you; if you do not know of any, try to find one through any church, synagogue, mosque or hospital.
    Call the IRS, you can't mess around with them. Try to set up a payment plan and see what kind of help they can offer you.
    I do career counseling, please let me know if I can help you or your husband with resumes or job search plans.
    Good luck to you and please let me know how you are doing.
    rkoloms

    Answer by rkoloms at 3:27 PM on Apr. 29, 2009

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