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Why can't I make the first move?

I find that I have a very difficult time initiating sex even when I want it. My fiance has complained a few times, saying that I never initiate, and I understand, I just can't bring myself to do it. Often, I feel sort of cheesy and I guess I don't feel very sexy since I had my first son (I never lost the weight). How can I fix this? How do I start initiating?

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Asked by Anonymous at 4:35 PM on Apr. 29, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (5)
  • i understand xo what works for my dh and he LOVES it is just go up to him fondle his thing and go down thats maken the first step and a big one and he wont be upset ( if he did hes not normal ) the last thing on his mind will be ohh shes still over weight ( u had a kid its ok ) he will be loke OMG! YEAHHHH. just try it.

    Answer by tabbys4 at 4:40 PM on Apr. 29, 2009

  • I feel the SAME way honey! And there were times i did initiate & got rejected i thought "OK! Never again!" but, the other day, i tried. I was SO excited to see that he was already stimulated...that helps, I often feel wierd trying to "get up" a limp one. Anyhoo, by the time we were done I though "I DID IT, I INITIATED!" It takes pracitce to lose the cheesey, stupid feeling. I understand that oh so well. I have friends who tell me they wear sexy clothes & do dances to get their man turned on.....well.....i would just laugh at myself if i ever tried to do that.

    What also works for me, wear a short skirt with no underwear, & make it a point to bend over from time to time, you know "accidentally"...i find when i do this, i don't have to initiate

    But, it does take practice to grow enough balls for initiation. I am still learning about how to do this, but it IS getting easier if that helps you at all.

    Answer by samurai_chica at 4:54 PM on Apr. 29, 2009

  • cheesy is fun. Just play. It's not like it's a job interview where presentation matters.

    Answer by admckenzie at 4:56 PM on Apr. 29, 2009

  • about having a glass of wine and wearing something somewhat sexy! Have fun! Dont take it so serious and play around. Jeeze the way i look at it..guys always think w/their sausages! lol

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:40 PM on Apr. 29, 2009

  • From personal experiance....guys love it when you initiate...and if your DH is wishing you would do it more, then I'm positive that he wants you! (baby belly and all! LOL)

    We've all had those thoughts of not being sexy "enough" or feeling un-lady-like if we are asking for sex...but we need to get over that! DH loves you and your body and he obviously wants to get it on with you and that body! LOL

    If you feel cheesy initiating, then just get to the point...."Hey, let's go have sex" I garuantee he won't say no! LOL...Or, you don't even have to say anything really, if you don't want to...just whistle and point to the are like dogs...they'll get the point. LOL

    But, seriously, you just have to build up your confidence. Start simple and work your way up to the bold stuff. Maybe just try initiating kissing or making out and then work up to the whole she-bang (hahah pun intended!)

    Go getcha some girl! GL!

    Answer by ozarkgirl3 at 5:55 PM on Apr. 29, 2009

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