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Should I talk to him?

Ok, So my BIL is going through a really rough time right now. He just broke up with his gf and he has been drinking alot. He always seems so down and depressed when I talk to him. He goes out drinking every night and I think it's becoming something he has to do rather then wants to do. He's making alot of ridiculous decisions and having sex with random girls. When I was a child I was surrounded by alcoholics. I just dont want to see him turn into one. His father was also an alcoholic. I just feel like I was around people that started out the same way he is, and Ive seen what can happen. Should I try talking to him? MAybe he just needs someone that understands what he is going through. WHAT SHOULD I DO????

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Asked by Anonymous at 4:37 PM on Apr. 29, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (4)
  • I, too, was a child surrounded by alcoholics. It is not a pretty home to grow up in and I would not turn into one because I will not put my child through it.

    If he and his girlfriend recently broke up, this could be his grieving process. Sometimes people who get out of long-term relationships go out, drink, have sex, and mingle in order to see if freedom is any better than being "tied-down".

    Hopefully it's just a quick little phase. If it's not, then he probably will need some type of medical help or even counseling.

    All that you can do is let him know that you are there for him. Invite him over on nights that he usually goes out to drink and have a few friends over. As long as he's not out running the streets and bar hopping, you don't have to worry.

    You should definitely talk to him, just don't be aggressive. Be assertive. Let him know that you understand that he is going through a rough time right now and listen.

    Answer by Empress_Emily at 4:47 PM on Apr. 29, 2009

  • I would let him get it out for a while. First off, he just broke up with his gal, let him have his drinks for now. Sometimes, especially for men, there is not much else they want to do after they lost a love. He may NOT be going down the road you think he is going, this just may be his way of mending his heart. I know when my brother split from his gal, all he did was drink himself into oblivion. It was the only thing he knew how to do. But of course, he bounced out of it. It took him some time though to get it all out of his head. He needs time to heal his heart, if he is still behaving this way after about 6 monthes, then maybe say something then. But, this just might be his wierd manly way of mending his broken heart.

    Answer by samurai_chica at 4:47 PM on Apr. 29, 2009

  • stay out of it. let him work it out for himself

    Answer by admckenzie at 4:55 PM on Apr. 29, 2009

  • You need to stay out of it. If you feel you need to talk to him, do it with your husband.
    I tried talking to one of my husband and my friends one time and it went really really bad for me. He showed up at my door in the middle of the night drunk while my hubby was out of town crying and I refused to let him drive anywhere like that (my dad was in an accident and killed due to alcohol) and he took that to mean that I was in to him I guess cause he grabbed me and kissed me and tried to get me to sleep with him and I refused, but when I told my hubby what happened, he was angry with me for refusing to let the guy drive drunk (I didn't offer to let him spend the night or nothing like that, just offered to drive him where he needed to go). It ruined their friendship and it could've been avoided if I'd just have butt out of the situation by not making myself someone he could come to when he was upset and drunk.

    Answer by lisa_ann_p at 5:32 PM on Apr. 29, 2009

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