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I need some answers

I'm 21 years old and I have a 5 month old son and I am dating a guy right now who has 3 kids 10 year old daughter 9 year old son and a 4 year old daugher they all live with us except the 4 year old I'm new at all of this parenting and I love the kids and my boyfriend to death but sometimes im just so dang stressed to where I am to the point of a nervse break down but then I just go on with my day and some days are just so dang hard and others are just a brezze... Do you think I'm 2 young to take on all this responsability and if so then what should i do to take some of the presser off of me

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 5:10 PM on Apr. 29, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (15)
  • i think if you are mature enough to handle it than you should be fine. all of us get stressed out on a day to day basis by our kids, you just have to take a breather (i call them my mommy time outs) and step outside for a min or two til you are ok to handle whatever it is you don't want to deal with. but to me just the fact that you are asking for help says you are mature enough to handle the responsibility. so as long as he helps and doesn't expect you to raise his kids for him, than you should be fine
    vabchmommy

    Answer by vabchmommy at 5:12 PM on Apr. 29, 2009

  • Speaking from experience there are gonna be good and bad days but if you have any doubts express them. And either try to work thru it or leave. That is alot I know it!
    ellies3boys

    Answer by ellies3boys at 5:13 PM on Apr. 29, 2009

  • I can't say if you should or not. If you do you have a long road ahead of you. Honestly being a step parent is very hard. I have 2 stepkids one lives with us and its harder with my stepson that lives with us cause you don't want to over step your bounds. If I had it all to do again I love my husband very much don't get me wrong but I probably wouldn't have stayed with him if I new how stessful it would be.
    Rebeccaroe

    Answer by Rebeccaroe at 5:15 PM on Apr. 29, 2009

  • Wow! That would stress out the most hardened mom! You are having to deal with so many different stages, and you didn't get to gradually get to that point. Just make sure you are making time for yourself.
    2-1CavWife

    Answer by 2-1CavWife at 5:16 PM on Apr. 29, 2009

  • Ok, so you are left home while he works and you take care of all of his kids?? I think he would understand if you told him that it's getting too hard for you , having to adjust to being a new mom of an infant and also having to be responsible for the other children. Do you have any of his relatives who would be willing to give you a break with his children for a while? Can you afford daycare for the older ones? You need a break because YOUR baby needs YOU. He should understand that the baby comes first...You;re not necessarily too young... I think that everyone gets stressed when they are put in a new siuation that they haven't been able to get accustomed to. And being the Supermom, or Supergirlfirend, or even SuperWife isn't worth it. You hurt not only yourself but the kids as well. Ask for help!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:17 PM on Apr. 29, 2009

  • Only you know if you're too young to handle the responsibility. I think you should talk to him about the way you're feeling and maybe he'll help you out some with the children. Personally I couldn't do it, but a lot of women love children so much that there's more than enough love and patience for as many as they have (and all of the neighbors kids and their families kids too).
    If you feel that you're not being fair to them, then you need to step back and rethink things. With you not being a whole lot older than his oldest child, I'm all but counting on you having problems later on tho. My step Mom was only a few years older than my oldest brother and she was more like a friend to me, but there were problems my Dad never suspected would occur later between the step mom and my oldest brother. Ask yourself if it's more than you can handle and if it is, don't be ashamed to admit it and take a step back. Good Luck
    lisa_ann_p

    Answer by lisa_ann_p at 5:20 PM on Apr. 29, 2009

  • Well my son is in daycare my boyfriend just started his own business and I work with him cause we cant really afford to get the help right now so not only do i have the sress of the kids but i have the stress of the business to and if it fails then we are in a bad situation
    kandist

    Answer by kandist at 5:21 PM on Apr. 29, 2009

  • Uh, you're not dating the guy if you two live together. Only you know if you've taken on too much but I know that even at my age, I wouldn't take that on. Good Luck.

    legalmommy101

    Answer by legalmommy101 at 5:24 PM on Apr. 29, 2009

  • seriously those are his kids, he should be taking on at LEAST half the resposibilities (cooking, cleaning, anything), cause i have 4 of mine,and 2 step children, and without the help of my husband i dont think i would have survived, cause we both work full time..........so girl.....make him step up to the plate and take on his share of everything
    epy108

    Answer by epy108 at 5:25 PM on Apr. 29, 2009

  • the kids should be in school all day and he should be home at night with them so what's the problem?
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 6:25 PM on Apr. 29, 2009

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