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My son is gay!!!

Oh my god! my son is 17 and he just told me that he is gay and has a boyfriend that he has been with for 6 months. I don't have a problem with the fact that he is gay and i told him that I would of course support him and i am fine with him dating this boy but, I am having SUCH a hard time not crying just thinking about all of the crap he is going to have to deal with all of the bigots and people who are not going to accept him!!! are there any moms of gay teens out there that can offer some calming thoughts?

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Asked by Anonymous at 8:00 PM on Apr. 29, 2009 in General Parenting

Answers (19)
  • Wow, you are in for a major life change. One day at a time, one day at a time....good luck.

    Answer by Steff107 at 8:02 PM on Apr. 29, 2009

  • First, your son is the same person that he was a week ago. Please keep in mind that this was very hard for him to tell you; if you have not already done so, tell him how proud you feel that he felt comfortable enough with you to tell you.

    Next contact PFLAG

    You will be fine, your family will be fine, and try as hard as you can to ignore the idiots and right wing nutjobs.

    Answer by rkoloms at 8:04 PM on Apr. 29, 2009

  • i'm not a mom of a gay teen, however all i can tell you is that all of us deal with bigots and idiots who look down on us for one reason or another. he came to you and told you which means he was comfortable doing so. just tell him you support him (which you have already done) and when/if he needs someone to talk to b/c of other peoples bias' than he can come to you again. the people that will automatically dislike him b/c of who he is aren't people he wants to know anyways, just keep telling yourself that

    Answer by vabchmommy at 8:06 PM on Apr. 29, 2009

  • I am not a mom of a gay child but i would still like to offer my support. I would just like to commend you first of all for accepting your son for who he is. a lot of people i know have been banished from their family because of their sexual orientation. and their hearts break everyday for the family they can't have. Your son is very lucky to have a mom like you. and I would like to say something to your son as well. I commend him for telling the truth about himself and not leaving it bottled up inside and he should never be ashamed of who he is. forget what all of the biggots out there think. that is just going to make his life miserable(and your life). the best thing you can do is let it roll off your shoulders and live your life. go on loving who you love forget about what the world thinks. people are coming around to the fact that gay people are not "diseased" people. they are human. loving humans who deserve to be loved.

    Answer by 2wndrfl_btrflys at 8:07 PM on Apr. 29, 2009

  • You should be so proud of yourself! Your son felt comfortable enough to tell you at 17. Most kids would be too scared to talk to their parents. You have done an awesome job with him, and remember that everytime you think about the road ahead..

    Answer by MrsLeftlane at 8:09 PM on Apr. 29, 2009

  • I did tell him that I was very proud of him. He is an amazing boy. I even asked him to invite his boyfriend over for dinner next week so i could meet him. I am so terrifed of telling my family though because my sisters and their husbands are "right wing nutjobs" and I just don't want him to have to go through that. Do you think that I should tell my sisters or should he tell them? do you think if i tell them it might be better for him?

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:09 PM on Apr. 29, 2009

  • you should come join us in the gaybug. there are tons of mommies that are either gay themselves, have gay kids, or have a relative or friend that is gay. you will find lots of support.


    Answer by MythicMMM at 8:13 PM on Apr. 29, 2009

  • I think you should tell them. I'm sorry to say but if they cannot accept their nephew for who he is as you did...who needs em?? telling family is going to be the hardest part because they are going to be the most critical crowd to tell. friends are probably not going to be his problem. i would have everyone over for dinner one night and let him tell them. you should not tell them this news it should come from him. good luck

    Answer by 2wndrfl_btrflys at 8:14 PM on Apr. 29, 2009

  • My son is 2, but all you can do is be supportive!!! I understand your fear and have pondered the what if 1 or more of my 4 kids will be homosexual and decided that there is no way I'm turning my back on them in such a hateful and cruel world! I know its a sin but they have no chance of being true to themselves securely, or survive the pressures of the homosexual lifestyle if mom doesn't love unconditionally! I applaud you for stepping up and accepting him for who and what he is!!! As long as you have his back he will always be strong!!! I hope dad is as supportive! My bd said harsh things and I told him that he will have enough going against him as it is and that is something in his life he needs to know he has acceptance at home because their is so much hate against anything not understood or accepted; this redirected his thought!!! I wish you all the best!!! You guys will always have a good relationship as long as remain opn

    Answer by ladyd6280 at 8:17 PM on Apr. 29, 2009

  • I have nothing to add in the manner of help.

    I just want to say that you are a wonderful mother.

    Answer by Mangy_Momma at 8:41 PM on Apr. 29, 2009

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