Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Military mommas help me out!

My husband just left. He's only gone for a month (workup). It's our first deployment, and I'm FREAKING OUT. I'm so sad. I just don't know how to deal with an empty house (besides my toddler) all the time. The house just feels so lonely.

I'm now freaking out about the Fall/ Winter when he'll be gone for two 4 month deployments (out 4, in 3-4, out another 4)

I work, I go to play groups.. but it's the evening that kills me. During the day it doesn't phase me too much because he was always gone during the day, but I'm so sad now, during the time he should be heading home. I plan to explore the area, make new friends, plant a garden, but that doesn't take up the evenings... He just left very recently.

Does it get better? How do you deal with it day in and day out? How will I put up with 4 more years of this? I know it's worth it for him of course, but I just feel so overwhelmed. Thanks girls.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 10:00 PM on Apr. 29, 2009 in Just for Fun

Answers (4)
  • you'll find things that keep you busy, it gets easier to find stuff. try finding a new hobby, painting, sewing, read, cheaply redecorate the house, meet other women with kids your childs age who are military spouses too, they understand and can help out with tips and advice and just the times when you don't know what to do to go on anymore. the longer they are gone, the more used to it you get. the work ups, which is what he is doing now, are the worst b/c they are gone for a week home for a few days then gone again, those drive me nuts b/c i'd rather he just be gone for the month or so that it totals. that way you don't get used to them being home just to have them leave again. you can message me if you have any questions, or want any tips on stuff. we've been married almost 7 yrs, are on our 5th or 6th (i have lost count) 6 month deployment, not including work ups that last from a week to 4 months.

    Answer by vabchmommy at 10:04 PM on Apr. 29, 2009

  • It doesn't get "easier" but it becomes easier to manage so to speak. My bed time has come so early because after the kids go to sleep is when I really miss him because that was "our" time. You will probably fall into a routine of sorts to help you get through days and there will be days where you feel as if you are just on autopilot. Look for support. My mom and I became so close. I call her all the time. I don't really have people I can count on anywhere near me so that sucks but otherwise, it does become managable. Good luck and if you ever need someone to talk to PM me

    Answer by ZaTa at 10:06 PM on Apr. 29, 2009

  • My husband is in the Army and is gone for 12 months or more at a time with a 2 week leave at some point. He had a total of 3 deployments in 4 years and to us its normal. You will get used to the house being quiet and being alone. You will have your job and child to keep you busy. 4 months is nothing and it will be over before you know it. My husband has been home for almost 2 years and its time for him to go again as we are used to him being home no more than 7 months at a time so were both going nuts.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:11 PM on Apr. 29, 2009

  • My husband is also starting to get prepared for his deployment and it makes me nervous as he will be gone for 2 weeks soon, and then a bunch of other "workups" before he goes for his 6 month deployment. Message me if you'd like to chat, I understand how sometimes you get upset and just need to talk!

    Answer by CLRief at 10:31 PM on Apr. 29, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.