My 17 year old son has been very secretive with me lately. Recently he has started to refuse to go to church with the family and tonight when I was going through his room I found a magazine with naked men in it. He obviously has a girlfriend bringing this stuff into my house, and due to the sexual nature of the material, I am very concerned that they are having intercourse. I am greatly concerned that he is going to get her pregnant. What should I do?
Asked by Anonymous at 11:24 PM on Apr. 29, 2009 in General Parenting
Answer by kabbot01 at 9:17 AM on Apr. 30, 2009
Answer by Anonymous at 11:27 PM on Apr. 29, 2009
Answer by serioussifL at 11:28 PM on Apr. 29, 2009
Answer by nwdeserangel at 11:28 PM on Apr. 29, 2009
Answer by nwdeserangel at 11:29 PM on Apr. 29, 2009
Answer by Annabel1809Lee at 11:41 PM on Apr. 29, 2009
In my recent child psychology class, we learned that teens are searching for and trying on new identities. Part of this is trying on different religious identities, which is probably what your son is doing by refusing to go to church. He may also be asserting his independence by doing so. It can be very scary for parents, but I assure you that it is within the range of normal and healthy. As for the pornography, most pornography is aimed at a male audience and so it is unlikely that a girl brought it to him. He may have been curious about his sexuality, or curious about how his body compares to other males, or even curious about how sex works in general.
Answer by dreyamom at 12:53 AM on Apr. 30, 2009
more..... The best way to know is to ask him. If you are able to withhold punishment and make a statement that allows him to talk while you listen, hopefully your fears can be alleviated. A good example would be "Sean, I found some pornography in your room, I feel concerned that your having sex, can you tell me whats going on?"
Answer by dreyamom at 12:54 AM on Apr. 30, 2009
Answer by Anonymous at 1:46 AM on Apr. 30, 2009
I really wouldn't assume that he has a girlfriend bringing naked man pictures to him. You don't even know that he's got a girlfriend and you've already got them nearly pregnant! Why don't you come home unexpecidly early from church next weekend and find out what he does when he doesn't want to join you.
Answer by MommyAddie at 6:33 AM on Apr. 30, 2009