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I'm concerned my son has a secret girlfriend.

My 17 year old son has been very secretive with me lately. Recently he has started to refuse to go to church with the family and tonight when I was going through his room I found a magazine with naked men in it. He obviously has a girlfriend bringing this stuff into my house, and due to the sexual nature of the material, I am very concerned that they are having intercourse. I am greatly concerned that he is going to get her pregnant. What should I do?

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 11:24 PM on Apr. 29, 2009 in General Parenting

This question is closed.
Answers (11)
  • Does he bring girls around you? Are his friends mostly girls? I would doubt that a girl is bringing it to your house, but I suppose it is possible if all of his friends are girls and they are over a lot. If it is his and not a girls, I don't think it necessarily means he is gay. As some of the other posters have stated, it might just be him wanting to see how he compares to other men or just out of pure curiosity. Good luck mama.
    kabbot01

    Answer by kabbot01 at 9:17 AM on Apr. 30, 2009

  • its got naked men and you think its a girlfriend bringing it in? maybe he doesn't want to go to church, and has a mag with naked men in it b/c he's gay? or maybe he's just 17 and doesn't want to talk to his mom about everything, i know it sucks but thats how teenagers are
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:27 PM on Apr. 29, 2009

  • He could be gay, having a playgirl magazine. And its not the end of the world.
    As for sex, it is better for teens to be educated than just be told not to have sex. If you think it is important for him to abstain, you should also make sure (or have his father do it, if hes available) he knows how to use and when to use a condom.
    serioussifL

    Answer by serioussifL at 11:28 PM on Apr. 29, 2009

  • My first thought is that if you found magazines with naked men in them, you should have to worry about a "girlfriend".
    nwdeserangel

    Answer by nwdeserangel at 11:28 PM on Apr. 29, 2009

  • err shouldn't
    nwdeserangel

    Answer by nwdeserangel at 11:29 PM on Apr. 29, 2009

  • I would assume he is sexually curious, and investigating men. Why would a girl be bringing in pictures of naked men, if she's "having sex" with your son? He'd be naked...
    Annabel1809Lee

    Answer by Annabel1809Lee at 11:41 PM on Apr. 29, 2009

  • In my recent child psychology class, we learned that teens are searching for and trying on new identities. Part of this is trying on different religious identities, which is probably what your son is doing by refusing to go to church. He may also be asserting his independence by doing so. It can be very scary for parents, but I assure you that it is within the range of normal and healthy. As for the pornography, most pornography is aimed at a male audience and so it is unlikely that a girl brought it to him. He may have been curious about his sexuality, or curious about how his body compares to other males, or even curious about how sex works in general.

    dreyamom

    Answer by dreyamom at 12:53 AM on Apr. 30, 2009

  • more..... The best way to know is to ask him. If you are able to withhold punishment and make a statement that allows him to talk while you listen, hopefully your fears can be alleviated. A good example would be "Sean, I found some pornography in your room, I feel concerned that your having sex, can you tell me whats going on?"

    dreyamom

    Answer by dreyamom at 12:54 AM on Apr. 30, 2009

  • Your son is most likely having sex with a guy not a girl.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:46 AM on Apr. 30, 2009

  • I really wouldn't assume that he has a girlfriend bringing naked man pictures to him. You don't even know that he's got a girlfriend and you've already got them nearly pregnant! Why don't you come home unexpecidly early from church next weekend and find out what he does when he doesn't want to join you.

    MommyAddie

    Answer by MommyAddie at 6:33 AM on Apr. 30, 2009