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Please offer advice, I'm really concerned...

I am new to the group and need advice on how to approach my 9 year old daughter about photos I found on her digital camera of herself and a 6 year old little girl friend's private parts. I am really scared if this is normal or if something else is going on. I want to discuss this with her the right way to find out what the pictures were all about if one or the other said to do this or what....I am really concerned. Please anyone out there have any experience with this?

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 12:23 AM on Apr. 30, 2009 in Tweens (9-12)

This question is closed.
Answers (10)
  • I can tell you from experience that children at that age are very curious about the human body. When I was around that age my neighbor (who was a girl) and I would take off our clothes and touch eachother and I guess you could say mess around. It was not cause either of us were lesbians or even knew anything that we were doing...we were just curious. My best friend told me she did the same kinda thing when she was young too. My mom had found something that we wrote about vaginas or something and that is when she gave me the sex talk. I would just ask her about the pictures and def. mention it to the other girls mom. Maybe its time to have the talk about the birds and the bees. And as for taking pictures...I would let her know that that is not okay. Who knows who could get a hold of those.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:32 AM on Apr. 30, 2009

  • It's a little extreme, but all kids that age are starting to discover their bodies and sexuality. They probably just wanted to know what a vagina looked like. I don't know if I would say anything to her about the pictures, but I would definately start talking to her a whole lot more about her body and sex.
    Ati_13

    Answer by Ati_13 at 12:25 AM on Apr. 30, 2009

  • Well, how can she not be curious? This type of stuff is on the computer, TV and magazine covers every day. Seriously, she is just copying what she sees. I think you can talk to her, but I don't think it's anything serious.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:27 AM on Apr. 30, 2009

  • that's scary. I'm only 19, and I have a 5 month old son. So I dont have any experience with older children or anything.

    but I think I would talk to her about it, ask why they took these pictures and mention it to the other little girl's mother.

    If you don't act on this now you might find yourself with bigger issues later on. It might just be something they seen on the internet or tv and they copied it. you never know.

    I wish the best of luck to you.
    LoniRae89

    Answer by LoniRae89 at 12:28 AM on Apr. 30, 2009

  • I was curious about my body at that age. I would talk to her about the dangers of having the pictures on the digital camera in terms that she will understand. But I wouldn't start worrying too much that she is doing things that are unnatural.
    I would make sure that they were pictures that she and her friend took and not somebody else.
    Nathskitten

    Answer by Nathskitten at 12:33 AM on Apr. 30, 2009

  • i'm willing to bet they're just exploring their bodies. you can talk to her about it, don't make a big deal about it though, or you might push her away. alot of kids this age like to figure things out on their own and might be embarrased about their interest. you may also want to speak to the other girls mother, and let her know what's going on so she can speak to her child as well. i don't have kids that age yet, but it wasn't that long ago that i was that age, and i remember it well. GL
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:34 AM on Apr. 30, 2009

  • Being curious is normal. That being said----talk to her right away. If you don't someone else will. You will give her that right information, someone else won't. Don't make her feel guilty about what she did or about being curious. She is obviously ready for the talk. You might also want to talk to the other childs parents--if you can.
    kgck_momma

    Answer by kgck_momma at 2:13 AM on Apr. 30, 2009

  • being curious is one thing, but taking pictures? shouldn't she be more private about her privates? not to mention those of her 6 year old friend? if the 6 yo was your daughter, wouldn't you think that this older 9 yo was molesting your daughter? molestation does not only occur between an adult and a minor. i don't want to make you feel bad but i could understand if she took pictures of her own body parts or maybe those of a friend that was the same age, therefore equally curious, but the friend is only 6 and waaay more innocent (i would assume.maybe not the case but that would be my assumption). i would have a serious talk with her about discretion and respecting the bodies of other people. who knows though, it could have been the 6 yo's idea but that would be very alarming...
    nairda

    Answer by nairda at 4:57 AM on Apr. 30, 2009

  • the kids are just crious, just talk to her nonchalantly, cuz kids smell fear and ambivalence. to the pp, i thnk "molest" is a harsh term for kids who are doing what comes naturally-curiousity baout thier bodies. i have a 9 yr old and we have been having the talk for a while now, and while i give her the facts i also teach her about respecting her body and other people's, but she has lots of questions , sometimes i get stumped ,but no way i show her that what she wants to know is shocking or wrong. I taught her about gay and lesbian and the way i told her makes her feel no predjudice to them. sometimes its not what u say but how u say what u say.
    MomofDesire

    Answer by MomofDesire at 10:34 AM on Apr. 30, 2009

  • UPDATE: Don't know if I am suppose to do this, but I had so many responses to my plea, I wanted to give you guys an update. Talked with her at length this morning and it was curiosity on both sides. Pictures were so they could "see" what stuff looked like. In reviewing them, saw that they were taken in the bathroom. Other Mom has been notified and we are both moving on. My daughter now knows and I think actually knew then, that the pictures were a bad idea. She felt very embarrassed and ashamed. I told her it was okay to "explore" and be curious but in the privacy of being alone in the bathroom or her bedroom. Discussion went well and I am very much relieved at her response.
    Thanks to all who posted!
    2girlsrus

    Answer by 2girlsrus at 1:06 PM on Apr. 30, 2009