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What should I do?

My boyfriend dislikes my children, and I have no idea how to help him out. He tries, but they just get on his nerves. We have been together for 2 years and living together for 1 year and a half. I do not know how to make things easier, and he wants to do better. However, he will not ask anyone for their advise.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:56 AM on Apr. 30, 2009 in General Parenting

Answers (6)
  • Maybe not living together would make it easier for him to deal with them. Kids get on the nerves of a lot of men.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 12:03 PM on Apr. 30, 2009

  • How can you have a fool proof expectation of life with him if he doesn't care for your kids? This is a package deal, take them TOO or leave. I am sorry but I think that there might be someone else out there that is MUCH more compatible for you and your kids. You need to consider their needs and realize that his dislike is something that should NOT be tolerated.
    MamaRoberts

    Answer by MamaRoberts at 2:08 PM on Apr. 30, 2009

  • He could try some parenting classes, usually available through your local job & family services, health department or hospital. If he just can't be happy with your children around even after the classes (or he doesn't want to take the classes) than I agree with the first post, you should live separately so he can have a kid free zone to retreat to at times.

    nysa00

    Answer by nysa00 at 2:23 PM on Apr. 30, 2009

  • I'd say not living togethor is the best answer. Other people's kids do get annoying. It would be hard for me to like this person if he didn't like my chlidren.
    lilnivy

    Answer by lilnivy at 4:57 PM on Apr. 30, 2009

  • I wanted to add that he is not mean to them. He has never been around children before mine. My God his own nephew gets on his nerves as well. However, he gets on my nerves too because he is so disrespectful. I just do not know how to help him in any way. He is so stubborn too sometimes. I bought him a step parent 101 book to try and help him and he said that it is not his kind of book, which it is not. He reads only sci-fi books. However, when I see I need to improve in an area rather it is for me, him, or my kids, I found a way to educate myself on the subject and change for the better... Never the worse... Hopefully.

    I do not have any family or friends in the area that I can talk to, and I feel so alone in this situation. I hate feeling so out of control. I am not a control freak and would like nothing more than a 50/50 relationship.

    We have talked about marriage, so before I tie the knot with someone AGAIN, I need to know
    gsb198205

    Answer by gsb198205 at 6:03 PM on Apr. 30, 2009

  • Your first responsibility is to your children. Kids are VERY perceptive, and they will (if they have not already) pick up on the fact that he does not like them. We are not all cut our to be parents. You must decide what is best for your children, and if you do choose to get involved with a man again, be sure that he understands that the relationship cannot move forward unless he is willing and able to be a positive part of their lives.
    rkoloms

    Answer by rkoloms at 7:14 PM on Apr. 30, 2009

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