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How do I stop my neice from beating up my son?

I stay at home with my 15 month old son and I keep my neice while her parents are at work. My neice is 20 months and my son is 15 months, she is always hitting, pushing, and so on. she won't even let my son play with his own toys. I have tried popping her on the bottom, the hand everything possible. but nothing works she still does it over and over could it be becuase her parents let her get away with everything? or is it her age?


Asked by Anonymous at 11:34 AM on Apr. 30, 2009 in Toddlers (1-2)

This question is closed.
Answers (11)
  • Pop her on the butt as soon as you see her hitting your son. If it doesn't sink in then pop her twice the next time. Keep increasing it till it sinks in. My son was like that at first, not with hitting but when I told him no about something and he'd look at me crazy, cock an eyebrow up and do it again. I'd pop him on the diaper and he'd do the eyebrow thing and not make a sound. He'd touch something again that I told him not to. So I'd pop him twice. I had to go up to 4 pops on the diaper before he realized that Mama was gonna work his hindquarters if he didn't do what I said.

    My nephew (age 2) is starting that now. He has his silent attitude. He is not vocal like my son is but if I tell him No he digs his feet in and won't budge. So he gets a pop on the diaper and I move him to where he needs to be. Then he cries. He used to not cry but now he gets fed up that Tia (me) gets in his business.

    Be consistent.

    Answer by lilbit022009 at 11:40 AM on Apr. 30, 2009

  • Talk to the parents again, if that doesn't help, I would suggest that to find another form of childcare for your niece, your son should enjoy his toys.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:40 AM on Apr. 30, 2009

  • separate her till she stops this! I get so upset if my own kids hit my son let alone if I had a niece, wish I did though,lol!

    Answer by 2mothershelpers at 11:42 AM on Apr. 30, 2009

  • (cont'd) I can't stand having to be forceful with the boys when it comes to them playing but if they disobey they have to understand there are consequences. Even if that means that they can't understand what I am saying but they understand how I say it and the action that comes with it.

    You're right to get after her right as she's hurting your son. Kids having a pecking order but not the the point that your son gets beaten up for it all the time.

    Maybe her parents could verbally correct her infront of you as you both discuss the problem so she "sees" mommy, daddy, aunt all know that she's messing up. Maybe that will help.

    Answer by lilbit022009 at 11:42 AM on Apr. 30, 2009

  • Time out.
    Do you have a play pen still? Set it up and don't put anything in it.
    When either child acts up, say "NO HITTING" (or whatever) and plop her in the play pen.
    Ignore the tantrum that will probably occur. Stay in sight of the child but do not try to talk her out of her fit or try to interact with her in any way.
    Once she is calm, set a timer for 1 minute.
    When it goes off, pick her up, hug her, and repeat 3 little sentences like this: We do not hit. Hitting someone hurts them. Let's go play with the blocks while Jimmy plays with the trucks.

    Over and over and over again. It does work but you have to keep things boring for the time out kid. No talking, no playing, no TV, no fun music. Just dull, dull, dull time out. And yes, you will need to do this with your son too. As her behavior improves, his is likely to get worse simply because he will be moving into this same phase.

    Answer by kaycee14 at 11:53 AM on Apr. 30, 2009

  • We are talking about a 20 month old here, WOW to some of the responses!!!

    It is a phase, and spanking a child to get them to stop hitting just sounds ass backwards (I am not anti-spanking and find that on occasions it has it's place) if she hits pushes won't share remove her from the situation, a time out in a chair in a boring place, if she won't stay seated try a play pen. In the begining it will feel like this is all you do, but don't don't give up, she will come around. Make sure you day we don't hit, we don't push etc....

    Sharing is a little trickier and is something they learn over time, if she is taking toys from your son then take them back and tell her she can have her turn when your son is done, and make sure she gets the toy when he is done, if she is playing and your little guy wants it then he haas to wait his goes both ways. If she gets upset and bully'ish then into time out she goes.

    Answer by luckysevenwow at 11:59 AM on Apr. 30, 2009

  • Remember she is still learning, 3 months between little ones isn't that huge of a difference. Have some patience. You'll get further in the long run.

    Answer by luckysevenwow at 12:00 PM on Apr. 30, 2009

  • good aswer kaycee, I am having this prob with my 3 and 5 yr. old gals, they are now sharing a room but they have the( Chokey Room) lol we named it after the room used in the movie Matilda,lol for time outs it is under a desk or in their closet, and this does work if you do it!This is for time outs!

    Answer by 2mothershelpers at 12:01 PM on Apr. 30, 2009

  • Listen to Kaycee...

    Answer by Navymama at 12:45 PM on Apr. 30, 2009

  • this happened with my daugter and my boyfried's daughter, and it stopped when my daughter started returnig the punch

    Answer by stephania01 at 1:30 PM on Apr. 30, 2009