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What do I do with this? Please read and give opinions

So my SO has a fetish for female underwear and by underwear, I mean dirty thongs and g-strings, none of which are mine, and ones that he has supposedly found in cars at his job since he works at a tow yard, personally I think it disgusting, but I am trying to understand it better, can anyone give me some insight on this, I dont think he does anything with them just keeps them, for what IDK, but he does when I asked him about it he said that its because none of his past gfs have ever worn stuff like that except for me, I even told him he can have mine then if he wants them but he said no, and that he has been meaning to throw them away but doesnt know where to throw them, (since they are all at his moms house in the garage he doesnt want to throw them away there and have her see them), he was VERY embarassed about what I told him I found, but even at first he lied to me about it saying he didnt know what I was talking about--->

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 3:53 PM on Apr. 30, 2009 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (16)
  • men need to be accepted for who they are. if you can't accept it you leave and if you don't leave then you must find a way to accept him. you can't or even shouldn't change a man. maybe you should get counseling for yourself to understand why people may do things like this. i would say the porn helped him develop this strange fetish. porn can lead to lost of weird and progressive serious fetishes. we have a friend that like panty hose. my husband doesn't get it neither do i but i don't have to make love to him. his wife accepts it.
    melody77

    Answer by melody77 at 5:05 PM on Apr. 30, 2009

  • I told him I didnt understand why such a nice guy like him is into weird crap like that, I mean the guy has only been with maybe 6 girls ever and he is 30, didnt have gfs in HS because well he was a dork and for the most part a loner, anytime he did get the nerve to ask out a girl she brutally turned him down sayig he is a dork and such just being mean, can having a teenhood like that make someone do weird things?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:56 PM on Apr. 30, 2009

  • Sounds like he needs counseling. And maybe the next time you are over there, bring a bag with you and toss them out yourself. If they don't mean anything to him, then he won't care, right?
    CarolynBarnett

    Answer by CarolynBarnett at 3:57 PM on Apr. 30, 2009

  • op-also I forgot to add that he also used to look at porn all the time, almost everyday until I told him that was just creepy and way too much now he doesnt look at it ever maybe once in a great while but its pretty rare, and if he does he tells me about it which is no big deal, I love this guy very much I know that bad habits ae hard to break but how can I handle all of this also leaving is NOT an option here
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:59 PM on Apr. 30, 2009

  • CarolynBarnett-----honestly I am sure if I did that he wouldnt say anything to me about it at all and just let me do it myself, but the thing is I dont go over there often and when I do his mom is there so how could I sneak out there to do that KWIM
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:02 PM on Apr. 30, 2009

  • telling him he's into weird crap probably didn't make him feel better. A fetish is a fetish. He can't help it and you judging him was not very nice. He's not going to throw them away. He's going to just hide them from you. Lots of men are into that fetish. You don't need to understand it, just accept it's what he enjoys.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 4:12 PM on Apr. 30, 2009

  • ok my husband was a dork also...i think they are a little sexually in hibited....when i met him i already had a daughter.i was his first at 24 yrs old.well we got married and he adopted my daughter.we are still married but i do catch him doing a few weird things.nothing i would divorce him for but just the kind of things like your husband.
    raineydays377

    Answer by raineydays377 at 4:16 PM on Apr. 30, 2009

  • I dated a guy who was into women's underwear,but I think he was wearing them.Mine kept disappearing and I found a pair in his house. I know as far as kink goes,this is one of the least to worry about,but it creeped me out!
    TMJ121099

    Answer by TMJ121099 at 5:08 PM on Apr. 30, 2009

  • Why don't you go buy some thongs, maybe in his size? It isn't that bad. I'm not trying to be mean or anything I just don't understand why it's such a big deal. He said he has been meaning to throw them away. I don't believe that for a second! He was humiliated. If this isn't something you can live with you need to part ways, a lot of guys like women's underwear.
    mlregalado

    Answer by mlregalado at 5:14 PM on Apr. 30, 2009

  • I had to go look for my abnormal psychology book ok basically it sounds like he may need these underwear articles in order to become aroused this is something he may not fully understand himself and feel uncomfortable in talking to you about however it should be discussed further when ready.
    Daisysun

    Answer by Daisysun at 5:38 PM on Apr. 30, 2009

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