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Do you think it is mean to be happy my son's "girlfriend" is moving away?

My son is 14 and has a girl he likes. He has recently told his brother that she is his girlfriend. I know he likes her alot but There are some concerns like she has another boy she hangs on who may, I am afraid, hurt my son physically. He is the same age as my son and carries a knife with him when he is not at school that has a 6 inch blade. She has at least once tried to actually hang on my son to make this other boy jealous. Well now I have been informed that the girl and her mom and sisters will be moving out of the area and they will not have contact. I feel so bad about being happy about it. I know he will be heart broken! How am I going to be supportive when I am so happy to have her away from my son? Am I being mean just by being happy of the THOUGHT of her gone?

I am only anon because I do not know if the Mom has a CM account and rather not open that can of worms.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 4:21 PM on Apr. 30, 2009 in Teens (13-17)

Answers (12)
  • You aren't alone. I've done the private happy dance when friends I didn't approve of moved away..or we moved away. It' is in keeping with the best interest of the child. It has nothing to do with hurting your child. You will be there for him when he is hurting. You can also rejoice privately that she is gone.

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:30 PM on Apr. 30, 2009

  • NO YOU ARE NOT WRONG BECAUSE IF HER BOYFRIEND IS UNSTABLE HE COULD HAVE HURT HIM!!! And I will bet mom moved to get daughter away from him!!! Be supportive by letting him know it was for the best even though you can't see it yet! You're young and have your whole life ahead of you and right now is not the time for a girlfriend, put your focus on school and your dreams. When the time is right you will meet someone more suited for you. I know you're in pain but it won't last too long. Let me know what I can do for you to aid in the pain, I want and need to and would be appreciative if you included me. Teens are tough but when mom is in the corner any mountain becomes a hill!!! GL, BW

    Answer by ladyd6280 at 4:32 PM on Apr. 30, 2009

  • You aren't alone, I was glad when my son broke up with his girlfriend (actually it was the other way around) as to being supportive, do what you would do in any other circumstance, but privately feel free to dance.

    Answer by luckysevenwow at 5:59 PM on Apr. 30, 2009

  • I would be doing the happy dance. No 14 of mine would be dating to begin with. I would be very careful about the other boy hurting my son.

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 9:25 PM on Apr. 30, 2009

  • lol. no definately not alone. and there is nothing wrong with being happy. just make sure that you tell him you are sorry he is feeling so sad but that you know he will find other girls out there and things like that. you dont have to lie just avoid showing your happiness that she is going away.

    good luck.

    Answer by aly38914290 at 11:30 PM on Apr. 30, 2009

  • You are absolutely not wrong or mean! The circumstances around the whole thing sounded like bad news for your son....and, better now than after he got hurt physically (by the other boy), or hurt even more emotionally as he got more attached to her.
    I wouldn't outwardly show you are happy about it, or even tell your son you are. He is too young to understand why you would be happy about something that will make him feel so sad. As he gets older, this may be something you can tell him about that you were so glad that he didn't end up more involved with this girl, and she moved away so you didn't have to "forbid" him from being around her. But, as a mother, you would have had to do what was in the best interest (and safety) of him. He will be grateful later on as he matures.

    Answer by Nightowl-Momma at 1:10 AM on May. 1, 2009

  • I think I might be somewhat relieved myself. Its not mean...its realistic.

    Answer by momofsaee at 10:19 AM on May. 1, 2009

  • Keep the happiness to yourself just support your son until he feels better try to keep him occupied. But to tell you the truth I would be very happy too. (jumping for joy)

    Oh did you say she and her mother are sisters? Is that right or did I read it wrong? hmmm.
    who cares...............There GONE.....WooHoo!!!!!!

    Answer by Butterfly1108 at 2:50 PM on May. 1, 2009

  • way to goAnd sisters....duh! I read it again Any way let's do the happy dance


    Answer by Butterfly1108 at 2:54 PM on May. 1, 2009

  • Oh believe me you arent the only one! My son is grounded for the next 2 mo. until this stupid girl he was dating moves away.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:24 AM on May. 2, 2009

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