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Should I take my 6 year old daughter to her grampa's funeral?

2 days ago I got news that my father-in-law passed away at 59 years old. He had a wonderful relationship with all 4 of his grandkids and they will have wonderful memories of him. He will be cremated, so I thought it would be ok for her to attend the funeral. I personally think this would be a good opportunity for her to have closing and hear that 'Grampa' is in a better place. I will leave the decision up to her but I wanted to hear what other mom's thought of my situation.

Thanks for reading.
Confused mom,


Asked by LFB03 at 6:14 PM on Apr. 30, 2009 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

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This question is closed.
Answers (10)
  • I took my son to my grandmother's funeral when he was 5. It was difficult for him to understand what was happpening, but since it was just family, he was able to ask all the questions he wanted. There is also a lot to be learned about a person at their funeral. Your daughter only knows grandpa, but she might be surprised to hear about him as a dad, husband, friend, coworker etc. It's hard to hear a child grieve a loss of someone they loved, but the more you involve her in what is going on, the easier it will be. God bless you.

    Answer by tiggermom803 at 3:31 AM on May. 1, 2009

  • I would take her, but sit near the exit in case she feels a need to leave. I'm sorry for your loss.

    Answer by TweenAndTwinMom at 6:18 PM on Apr. 30, 2009

  • I would think she's old enough to understand what's going on. Also, it will give her a chance to "say her goodbye's" so to speak. I think you should take her. And I'm sorry for your families loss.

    Answer by vicki136 at 6:18 PM on Apr. 30, 2009

  • I agree with your feelings on taking her. It might help to give her closure.

    Answer by jamesmommy12 at 6:19 PM on Apr. 30, 2009

  • We took our 5 and 7 year olds to their great-grandad's funeral. My husband didn't like the idea at first, but after the fact, he agreed that it was good. I wanted them to see all the people who loved pops, and to understand that it's OK to feel sad someone is gone, but to remember they are in heaven now and that is OK too. They did very well, and are generally very good and well behaved children. If they weren't, I wouldn't have considered it.

    Answer by teri4lance at 6:19 PM on Apr. 30, 2009

  • I would.

    Answer by TabathaM at 6:19 PM on Apr. 30, 2009

  • This hit me hard for 2 reasons. I was 6 when my grandfather died I was very close to him. It was long ago but I remember everyone sad and I was sad and knew he was in heaven and not hurting anymore. Last summer my 8 yr old daughter lost her uncle on her fathers side. It was devistating to her. She is a faithfull member of her church and still thinks of him and cries once in a while. I am sorry for your lost

    Answer by leovirgo_mom3 at 6:39 PM on Apr. 30, 2009

  • I think that it would be fine to take her. Kids need closure as much as anybody else, if not more. I hope you all start feeling better soon.

    Answer by sparrowprincess at 6:42 PM on Apr. 30, 2009

  • No. I went to my grandfather's funeral when I was about 23 and it still was pretty traumatizing.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:53 PM on Apr. 30, 2009

  • death is a part of life and at sometime in all of our lives we have to say goodbye to someone we love i recently took my son to my uncles funeral and even though he didn't know him that well he was sad but really fasinated by everything my uncle got burried and my son walked right up to the whole and was looking in and asking loads of question but i didn't mind because death is such a hard topic to explain to children and when they see things with there own eyes it makes more sense to them i think you are making the right decision to take her what a awesome mum you are to want to ask if thats the right thing to do i am really sorry about your family's loss

    Answer by tumtum360 at 3:16 AM on May. 1, 2009