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lack of sex...

i just realized that DH and i have fallen into a rut of having sex only on saturdays. so when you factor in the fact that 1 saturday a month is unavailable we have sex 36 times a year. I remember when we would have sex 36 times in 2 weeks or less (we were teenagers, but still). I can't seem to get into sex very often anymore and we find ourselves staying up late watching movies or tv and then it feels too late for fooling around. He would gladly go every morning and everynight, but i don't feel like it. I don't really want to do much that we used to do in bed anymore, suddenly i feel slutty (not in a good way) when we do much more than a little basic foreplay and basic missionary sex. Btw he is the only person i've ever been with and we have been together 11+ yrs married 7+. We've tried watching porn, using toys, blindfolds, ice, hot tea, everything basically and i used to enjoy it and then i didn't anymore

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Asked by Anonymous at 8:58 PM on Apr. 30, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (3)
  • I think this is normal. Its something that happens after being married for awhile. You are still in love but that doesnt mean you have to have sex all the time. If you are saying you would like to be doing it more often. Try spicing things up. Dont let him know about it though. I think the excitment of when we were dating or significant others was that they werent expecting it and it wasnt a routine. So the next time you are watching a movie or something. Look super cute, turn the lights out start snuggling and then 'surprise' him in one way or another. See if that heats things up. If it doesn't. Then i think that is a good time to maybe talk to him about your love life and how you want that spur of the moment love back in it.

    Answer by Ilovemychi at 9:04 PM on Apr. 30, 2009

  • Life happens. This is why I don't suggest porn when it comes to spicing things up in the bedroom. As you get older, you start to realize that you just don't compare to the 18 year olds that have had plastic surgery and are limber and never had any children. It loses it's appeal with women and men start to lose their appeal for "basic" sex with their "basic" wives. Try to remember when this change happened and what was going on in that time period that turned you off from wanting sex.

    Answer by legalmommy101 at 9:10 PM on Apr. 30, 2009

  • Congrats on only being with one person!!! i admire you! that was my goal... my things didnt work out with my ex. so im waiting for the right time and right person... but you dont want sex to be a chore... try and find a happy medium that will keep both of you satisfied. maybe what you guys need is to make it romantic and special again...
    go out on a date, play coy and shy.... make him seduce you.... make it romantic and fun at the same time.

    Answer by trystons_mommy at 9:31 PM on Apr. 30, 2009

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