Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

I'm thinking of calling my ex and telling him our son has to live with him.....

I posted a question in Religion about some books that my son has come home with (my son is 20 and lives with me). I don't think I'm going to put up with my ex sending books home with my son that they BOTH know goes against my Christian beliefs. They know I don't allow this in my house and if the boy wants to listen to his dad, I can't stop him.... but I don't have to allow my ex to invade my home with his effed up teachings (for the record the man claims to be Wiccan but refuses to live by their code; claims also that HE is god, and that there is no such things as past or future, and also that emotion is lie of the mind)... I think it's safe to say he's messed up... but now our son has been hanging out with him and I've noticed a marked diff in his mental/emotional health; now this. Should I call the ex and tell him that if he's gonna fill the boys head w this crap, then our son can move in with him? Yeah, I'm mad.

 
PaceMyself

Asked by PaceMyself at 9:07 PM on Apr. 30, 2009 in Adult Children (18+)

Level 5 (75 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (10)
  • The young man is 20. I think he should find his way but if dad is going to lead the journey then by all means he should be sheltering and clothing and feeding him as well.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 9:47 PM on Apr. 30, 2009

  • yea i would.....
    lilysmommy1408

    Answer by lilysmommy1408 at 9:13 PM on Apr. 30, 2009

  • I wouldn't want him living with his dad. He's naturally curious about other beliefs, but trust that you raised him well enough to know his dad's a little.... ok, A LOT... off. Talk with him about it. Ultimately, it's his decision, but don't let him think you've given up! Good luck!
    drowninginboys

    Answer by drowninginboys at 9:14 PM on Apr. 30, 2009

  • Your son needs to grow up and stop leaching off of mommy and daddy and stop trying to find a false belief to make him feel better. Im 21 and that is just ridiculous! Kick his ass out! Of course you want the best for him cause he's your son but to mawck you, no. Maybe have a talk with both your son and the father see if you can all come to an allurement to just leave religion out of it all and respect one another...oooo good luck cause you will need it for a stubborn ass 20 year old and a man who thinks hes god :)
    Bugsmommy1908

    Answer by Bugsmommy1908 at 9:18 PM on Apr. 30, 2009

  • As a mother it is very hard bc you would love for your son to follow your beliefs but instead he is trying to slowly bring in his dad's beliefs in your home. What you might ask him to please don't bring that here in my home if you don't like it go live with your dad I don't want you to go but I don't want that kind of stuff in my home.
    If your son is 20 don't even bother with the dad just tell your son if he is in or out his decision.
    And as for you just stick to your beliefs and live your life. And pray for your son that he does realize what he is doing ask God to work on his heart and make him see what he doesn't see. I hope everything turns out just fine. Ask God and be patient.
    Butterfly1108

    Answer by Butterfly1108 at 9:19 PM on Apr. 30, 2009

  • Is he in college? If not, it's time to cut the cord and he needs to move out!

    legalmommy101

    Answer by legalmommy101 at 9:21 PM on Apr. 30, 2009

  • HECK YEAH!!!! I'm sorry but ANY person claiming they are God and want people to follow him or her convincing them that they are based on new found beliefs WILL answer to God!!! I do not judge nor put down any religion unless I FEEL they are a cult! If you google what is a cult you will see criteria! Because you are Christian and this goes against bible principle and your son has chosen to follow his father you can spiritualy cut him loose!!! THIS IS MY OPINION, PLEASE HAVE AN OPEN MIND! I would not keep any literature in the house! You have no idea what welcomes evil spirits in the house and don't need to chance it!!! FOR THOSE THAT BELIEVE THE DEVIL IS REAL KNOW WHAT I MEAN. I am sorry your son fell into the trap of this belief system Don Miguel Ruiz created! All you can do is pray that he turns around before its too late!!! NORMALY I PROMOTE WORKING THINGS OUT BUT HE IS A MAN NOW AND CAN MAKE DESICIONS ON HIS OWN!!!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:22 PM on Apr. 30, 2009

  • I don't think I'd want my son living with him full time, that just gives him more time to influence him. Just talk to your son, he is an adult, tell him how you feel, tell him if he chooses to follow this other religion that is his choice, but he has to respect you and your home. Just tell him not to bring these things into your house.
    robinann5

    Answer by robinann5 at 9:53 PM on Apr. 30, 2009

  • Your "child" is 20 and thats old enough to think for himself. While you are a strong influence in his life, he will only allow you that position in his life if he respects you. I would never ever let your son hear you say anything negative about his father. A child loves his parents and will defend the one thats being attacked, even if that parent is in the wrong.

    If you have done your job well for 20 years with this child, he should be able to think for himself and make up his own mind, the same as you did at that age. No one can make up his mind for him and the more you say about it negatively, the more he will justify it all in his mind.
    Do you believe that if you call the ex and tell him what you think that its going to change HIS mind? Of course not. If he's that off centered with his thinking then he isn't looking for logical common sense advise.

    lifeasinoit

    Answer by lifeasinoit at 11:14 AM on May. 1, 2009

  • Bascially, you will have to live your life the way you want your son to see. Make choices that show stability, that show honest living and that point in the direction you think is right and good. While you love your son dearly, he is an adult should be able to think for himself at this point. He is still learning and is still looking for the path that he will take.

    Your choices are to allow him to continue to live in your home, but be sure that you are requiring adult responsibilities (like helping pay his part, helping care for the home, cleaning up after himself, etc.) and then if you want to go so far as to not allow these books, make sure you are consistent along the lines of what is objectionable on the tv, what is viewed online, what language you use, and the spirit you show to others.

    Remember that Christ had a spirit that was loving, gentle and always good.
    lifeasinoit

    Answer by lifeasinoit at 11:18 AM on May. 1, 2009

close Cafemom Join now to connect to other members! Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN