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Gift giving at a bridal shower/wedding...

Is it necessary to give a gift for both occasions? I didn't have a wedding shower because I didn't want to make my friends feel obligated to buy me two sets of gifts, but now that I've been invited to both, I'm wondering if I need to. I don't want to be tacky!!!

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Asked by SarahLeeMorgan at 10:26 PM on Apr. 30, 2009 in Relationships

Level 18 (5,498 Credits)
Answers (7)
  • No, I think those who were not invited to the shower would bring gifts to the wedding or send through mail. You only give once if you have been to the shower. That's my understanding.

    Answer by Southerncharmes at 10:34 PM on Apr. 30, 2009

  • I always gave twice and lots of people did the same at my wedding. Usually I give a bigger present at the shower, something that is on the registry or such and then at the shower just bring a card with a $20 in it. I figure the cash is something they will use on their honeymoon and it is just a little extra.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:42 PM on Apr. 30, 2009

  • If you attend the shower and the wedding you should give a gift at each. You should give a wedding gift even if you gave a gift at the shower, they are two different events.


    Answer by BlessedMommy64 at 10:44 PM on Apr. 30, 2009

  • I'm not sure. I think something moderate both times? I'm going through this right now with my friend sort of... She had a baby shower two weeks ago. I made a big gift basket. Now, she'll be having him any time and I'm not sure if I'm supposed to bring a gift to the hospital...

    Answer by sparrowprincess at 10:46 PM on Apr. 30, 2009

  • you should give one at both, typically the shower is for the bride and the honeymoon stuff (lingerie etc..) were the wedding gifts are meant for the couple to use in their new home (or their old home if they live together already) so you can get something small for the shower and the bigger gift for the wedding or vice versa. if however, you are in the wedding, than its not usually expected to give a gift at the wedding (from my understanding) if you gave one at the shower, b/c you got the shower gift and the dress etc for the wedding.
    sparrowprincess, what i always do when a close friend has a baby, is for the baby shower get a gift for baby. when i go see her first time after baby, in the hospital or at home, i bring something for mom. a book, wine, bubble bath something small like that, and if its a really really good friend something small "for" baby too, a pic frame or just a cute onesie. but its really up to you

    Answer by vabchmommy at 11:03 PM on Apr. 30, 2009

  • Traditionally my circle of family and friends bring gifts to both. If it is a bridal shower, I give a gift strictly for the bride (mostly sexy lingerie), and for the wedding I buy a traditional wedding gift from their registry. When in doubt, always bring a gift. Yes, tacky to show up empty handed. Tip: small gifts are sometimes the nicest, so don't worry about having to spend a lot of money.

    Answer by hopelessnance at 12:48 AM on May. 1, 2009

  • How about the shower you get something practical (from the registry or something) but for the wedding gift get something...more intimate? Not like uber kinky (depending on who is getting married that may be awkward) but maybe aroma therapy candles that double as a massage lotion?? Usually the wedding gifts are opened after the wedding, not with everyone there...that way they can start off with something special, yeah?

    Answer by WannabeMommy87 at 5:27 PM on May. 1, 2009

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