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How do you deal with your overbearing 4 year old child??

My daughter is almost 5 (in Aug), and she is very defiant. She talks back, throws tantrums, and tells me no, completely disreguarding anything I have to say. Maybe it's that i'm not totally consistant. Maybe it's that we have an 8 month old too that needs so much extra attention? I am not sure...but my 4 year old is exhausting! My husband is on deployment- has been gone for 2 almost 3 months now. I am so stressed out. I don't know if it's laziness, or just being fed up, but I get to the point to where i'm just tired of arguing and fighting so I give in. I hate it...I don't know what to do! I want to enjoy being a parent, but at the same time that's hard, b/c of my daughter. She makes it such an unenjoyable experience. I thought it would be totally differant. Am I wrong? What do I do??

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Asked by Anonymous at 11:04 PM on Apr. 30, 2009 in Preschoolers (3-4)

Answers (6)
  • nope you aren't wrong, my daughter just turned 3 in dec, hubby deployed in feb and i'm having our boy in may. i think its a combo of all those things for that age, daddy is gone, mommy is spending time with baby (or making baby therefore tired in my case) and they act out. i don't know what to tell you i do the same thing some days i just don't have the energy to fight over wether or not she gets to watch another 10 mins of tv, or eat a cookie before dinner....all i can say is enjoy the times when she isn't horrible, and the times she is just put yourself in time out so you have time to re-energize that way you can fight the battle you were trying to fight, thats the only thing i can think of to do for myself. and just remember when its something you are dead set on to fight for it, if its not that important to let it go. i've found if i'm willing to lose some battles shes less horrible over others throughout the day..

    Answer by vabchmommy at 11:10 PM on Apr. 30, 2009

  • What I do with my dd, who is also 4, is put her in her room, and sit her down on her bed. I don't let her play with toys or anything, if she gets up I put her right back on. I know she's a hand full, tee ball practice is a nightmare, I'm thinking we might end up pulling her out it's so bad.

    Answer by LolosMom at 11:11 PM on Apr. 30, 2009

  • My daughter just turned 4. My youngest daughter is 18 months. My husband is always away for work. I understand what you're going through. On days when my daughter is especially mean, hateful, disrespectful, I give her a very clear warning that the very next thing she does that is mean, rude, disrespectful, arguementative, anything I don't like, she will go to her room. It happens, and I carry her there. She is allowed to come out only when she feels that she can be nice and follow the rules. I let her know that no one wants to be around someone who behaves that way. I also make sure that I gush over how nice she is when she actually is nice. She is getting better. Also, I let her scream and yell in her room so that she can get out her anger. She is just not allowed to break any rules, like saying she hates anyone, or of course cursing, etc.
    I make sure she knows that I love her just as much as.....cont.....

    Answer by MomEveryDay at 2:08 AM on May. 1, 2009

  • her little sister and say how it is so tough being the big kid and having to wait for things since babies are so much work, then I remind her of all the things she gets to do BECAUSE she is bigger.

    Answer by MomEveryDay at 2:10 AM on May. 1, 2009

  • My four yr old daughter drives me insane am a really easy going person but she knows how to "dig in" and make me completely ticked off....I think its just a "mother daughter" thing, girls just mature faster than boys, so they are more inquisitive, argumentative when they think they are right, and back talk younger. Some days my daughter is as sweet as "sugar", some times she's harsh and full of "spice".

    Sugar and Spice
    and everything nice (usually)
    that's what little girls
    are made of.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:57 AM on May. 1, 2009

  • She didn't get that way over night.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:17 PM on May. 1, 2009

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