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do you think this is a good idea?

someone suggested that i write down everything that i want in life and what i want in a man that will make me happy. and what things i have to do to get there. and when i finish with it even if its ten pages long.....never settle for less than i want. then i will know for sure what i really want. (he thinks i am very confused..which i am)

so do you think this will be helpful to me?

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 11:49 PM on Apr. 30, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (10)
  • yes it's helpful. Be specific though. Don't just say you want a man. You have to list the characteristics you are looking for and set a time limit on your goals in life.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 11:51 PM on Apr. 30, 2009

  • Be specific but broad at the same time. Focus on what really matters, not the trivial stuff. If children are very important, make that a priority. If faith is important, make that one. But don't get too hung up on the shallow features.
    mandaday

    Answer by mandaday at 11:54 PM on Apr. 30, 2009

  • It is good to know what your dreams and goals are but in the real world you seldom get everything you want. Also what we want changes as we age and mature. As far as finding a man that fulfils all you want that just ain't gonna happen. The dream man doesn't exist. If you set your standard too high you may just wind up alone.


    So as far as career goals, education goals, things like that yes it is helpful. It will get you moving on a path towards success. As far as people, such as husbands or S.O.'s they very rarely meet all our criteria

    teamquinn

    Answer by teamquinn at 11:55 PM on Apr. 30, 2009

  • Absolutely! Writing things down makes it solid so-to-speak. If and when a goal seems too far away or unattainable, it's nice to set goals on how to obtain it.. Flowchart maybe?
    alinker

    Answer by alinker at 11:59 PM on Apr. 30, 2009

  • I think that is really hard for to do. I think when you find someone is a combination of what do you want and just faith or destiny, (whatever you wanna call it). If you just hold into your list , maybe that person doesn't exist. I think you have to just work in a relantionship, is not about all what do you expect form the other person
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:01 AM on May. 1, 2009

  • It is helpful, be specific and read them over once a year and you can change them at anytime. Especially if you accomplish some of the goals. I think I will get a notebook and do that to.
    tyfry7496

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 12:06 AM on May. 1, 2009

  • YES! Which reminds me that I need to do it again too. You can't get what you want if you are unsure of what it is. Really think about what you want, write it down and don't compromise on anything. If you compromise the list, then you will compromise it in real life.
    hopelessnance

    Answer by hopelessnance at 12:25 AM on May. 1, 2009

  • Well that does sound like a good idea. But not entirely. If I was single again I would have some pretty high standards. Most of all I would not waste time on a man who looks at porn. That is narrowing down my choices. But now that I think about it. I love my husband soooo much! My husband used to look at porn but he does not now. No you can't change people but they can change themselves if they want to. And my husband saw that porn has caused nothing but problems in his relationships and realized he wanted it out of his life. There have got to be other men out there who would see that and change if they had a woman to help them. People can change if they feel it will help their lives. I think you should write that letter yes. But I don't think you will find that man. He is out there for you and he just needs a little changing which he would probably be happy to do for you. Let the prospects know your standards.
    Tickledtrauma

    Answer by Tickledtrauma at 12:28 AM on May. 1, 2009

  • Thanks for the idea OP, I should do that since I have been alone for so many years. I find myself saying NO to everything and everyone from fear of being hurt. Maybe I need to write down and memorize what and where I did wrong and perhaps something will be embedded in my brain. I always find it safer to say no. I'm pretty tired of being alone.
    Gigi1969

    Answer by Gigi1969 at 12:40 AM on May. 1, 2009

  • Okay I am going to be the honest person.

    Are you old? Is your time running out?

    Are you ugly? Because you shouldn't be picky if you ain't got it going on.

    Don't be superficial and overcritical.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:45 AM on May. 1, 2009

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