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Okay say you found your SOs bio dad or at least you think you did would you tell them?

See here is the thing, my DF has actually never known who his dad is only knows his name but thats only because when we were filling out the thing for our marriage license he had to ask his mom, now I got bored and searched on myspace and actually found a man about the right age and right area that has two daughters like my DF was told, and I am just curious should I say something to my DF about it or just never tell him? The only reason I looked is because well curious thats all to see my DFs other half KWIM? So what do I do? I dont want him to get upset with me but I really do want to say something


Asked by hautemama83 at 1:43 AM on May. 1, 2009 in Relationships

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Answers (6)
  • My hubby and I randomly do searches on people we knew way back when or relatives we haven't seen in years etc... maybe one day you could say hey, what do you think about putting your Dad's name in and see if we find him. Me... I want to know those things because I don't want my kids to end up marrying family (they move all the time so there's no safe bet even if they used to live 6 states away, their kids could've moved here).
    I'd outright ask, I'd say, I was curious and popped it in the search and there it was, I don't know if it's him or not, but I saved the link just incase you wanted to look and atleast be able to recognize him and his sisters. I'd want to know if it was me. I'd just ask and then not push it but I would not contact the man at all because your man may not want to be found.

    Answer by lisa_ann_p at 8:13 AM on May. 1, 2009

  • If he wanted to know, I would tell him. If it's something he that will upset him and he doesn't really care for, I wouldn't, too avoid hurting him.
    I would ask him his opinion on it first. Ask him if he ever wanted to know who his dad was or if he was ever interested in looking for him.

    Answer by Marix3 at 1:49 AM on May. 1, 2009

  • Thats the weird thing I dont think he cares either way, I know he has wondered though.....maybe I can sort of hint things at him at see what he says and then if he lets on that he would be curious I can tell him, I do know that it would probably upset his mom though

    Answer by hautemama83 at 1:53 AM on May. 1, 2009

  • As a person who doesn't know their dad, I can tell you that I personally would want to know but I wouldn't take it any farther than that. It would be emotional but he left me and never looked for me so I won't really waste my time trying to find him.
    If you feel telling him is the right thing, by all means tell him. He'll have his own way of dealing with it.

    Answer by Marix3 at 1:57 AM on May. 1, 2009

  • See I never knew my dad either so thats why I feel sort of confused on what I should do KWIM

    Answer by hautemama83 at 2:40 AM on May. 1, 2009

  • why not just find out first. in casual conversation, "hey honey (or whatever you call him) would you ever want to see your dad? (to make it less conspicuous you can put yourself in there too) i don't know mine, so i was wondering what you would do..."

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:24 AM on May. 1, 2009