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Why is my daugther mean all of suddenly

I have a 12 yr old girl. She is really change this year and I' m don't know what to do any more. She was good in school and no problems. Now I get calls from school that she being mean to others name calling also writing it in the year book about her class mates. The teacher had 2 yrs in the past said Katie had change alot and she don't know why. She was always sweet and good with her grades. Now this year it's like a differnt person. I yell, took things away, grouned her, and I talk to her about her why she got a big mouth that she opens up and gets her in trouble she dont care who she hurts if she got something to say she say it. I cant get her to shut her mouth so help me plesce.

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goingnutsmom12

Asked by goingnutsmom12 at 9:05 AM on May. 1, 2009 in Tweens (9-12)

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Answers (13)
  • Has something happened to her that she isn't tell you. Maybe a possible rape or being molested by someone to cause the anger and hatred? Has she lost a best friend or has someone close to her moved away? She might be getting teased and taunted causing her to be so mean. It could also be the onset of puberty and her hormones going crazy. I would get her into a consoler so she has someone she can talk to and they can talk to her and get things out of her that you probably can't. If nothing else has worked I would try that before the behavior turns violent or malicious. GL with her.
    brailynsmama08

    Answer by brailynsmama08 at 9:10 AM on May. 1, 2009

  • I had a similar problem when I was her age. My mom put me on midol. My cycle started when I was 13 and before that, age 12 or so, I was being more bitchy, sensitive, crying, emotional, radical mood swings, change in friends, rude, etc.
    lilbit022009

    Answer by lilbit022009 at 9:16 AM on May. 1, 2009

  • What kind of kids does she hang with? Maybe she's trying to get in the 'cool' snobby group. Is she eating well, mean to siblings that she was nice too. I'd direct her to community clubs - 4 H, Public Library teen groups, girl scouts. I stopped one of my kids from staying with friends at 10 and 11 cause they were one to two years older and just hanging out after school. That lack of activities really caused a big attitude problem with mine. I stepladdered then and still do - one bad deed gets a punishment and another one gets another punishment added on. It gives my kids choices on their behavior. I can't make them behave but I can absolutely stop their rudeness by taking away multiple bad deeds at once for multiple days. Has your dd gotten her period yet? Maybe she hasn't and feels weird if other friends have. Keep an eye on her, if it goes into sadness outright try counseling.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:16 AM on May. 1, 2009

  • Many prayers for u my friend. Its that whole change of things. She's 12 ..hormones play a big role, and friends. All the peer pressure. The fitting in and who is more popular garbage! Hang in there..It is a huge change for u and for her. This is when all the phone calls start, the gossip, the who did what..etc. Be there for her kindly if u can. I tend to lecture too much and tell stories..They only hear the first 5 minutes! It is a dramatic difference and change..Really, the changes of thier bodiesis so dramtic for them. And they have no clue with the horomones kicking..they just know they feel weird..
    staceyLM

    Answer by staceyLM at 9:21 AM on May. 1, 2009

  • HORMONES! and a combination of stuff going on at school. I think staceyLM decribed it perfectly. I have an 11 yr old and its the same thing. Shes got a mouth and an attitude on her a mile long. We just have to stay on top of her a lot harder and keep her in line. It does get better.
    momofsaee

    Answer by momofsaee at 9:27 AM on May. 1, 2009

  • all the pp are good info, mainly teens are sometimes just a mystery. But as for what can you, keep it up with punishing the bad and rewarding the good. Also, have her sit in on a meeting with her teachers and let them tell her to her face how she is hurting people and how it will nto be tolerated. Talk to them about punishments at school. Bullying, and cruelty is a huge del and your daughter needs to learn that no one likes the mean girl and at some point she will mess with the wrong girla nd get the snot knocked out of her.The only other suggestion is get her a therepist to address the meaness, it can really help to have an objective person call you on your crap. good luck and sorry mom...
    Bearsjen

    Answer by Bearsjen at 9:30 AM on May. 1, 2009

  • If dd has either myspace or facebook or Hi5, those social sites can be more antisocial than social. I don't know how, we don't have any of that with our kids, some other mom can probably tell you how to stay informed on what's going on at your daughter's pages if she has any of those. i agree hormones are kicked in but routinely out of control hormones for guys or girls are not good. Good Luck!!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:31 AM on May. 1, 2009

  • All you can do is just hang in there. and do the best you can its just a phase she is going through. I'am on my fourth kid and she is eleven and going through the same thing. be patient. it will pass.
    dogma49

    Answer by dogma49 at 12:14 PM on May. 1, 2009

  • Puberty! Hormones! PMS! I really don't know what to tell you. My niece is 11 and is turning into a little snot but her grades are still the same, she is on the honor roll and in Honor Society. Sit down and talk to your daughter about what is going on in her life.
    tyfry7496

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 3:07 PM on May. 1, 2009

  • I have a friend that is going thru the same thing. We think it's hormones. I've heard so many mothers even tell me to wait until my daughter turn 11,12, 13... When my daughter gets bossy, I take her aside and tell her think about what you are doing and saying. I ask her if she would want to play with someone who was bossing her around. Hang in there and give her lots of hugs and love!
    Jenuines3

    Answer by Jenuines3 at 3:07 PM on May. 1, 2009

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