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post partum depression?...

I had a baby four weeks ago and i have been struggling emotionally... not with taking care of her, i LOVE it... but i have been struggling with my boyfriend, who thinks its my 24 hour a day job (which is whatever, i have no problem taking care of her) he thinks its a "chore" or that he can just live the life he lived before she was born, going out and doing what he wants to because Ill be home with the baby... and i ask him for 15 minutes to MYSELF where i can shower or clean and its a fight... i also lost my mom over a year ago but im stuggling with the fact that my daughter will never be able to meet her as well as my mom never being able to hold her grand-daughter. I feel like im losing my mind though... when i get emotional its so intense to the point where i just wanna break down and say "F*ck it". any advice on how to cope with such intense emotional state?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 9:34 AM on May. 1, 2009 in Pregnancy

Answers (6)
  • Breathe and find time for you. If the baby is asleep then take a shower. Ask a neighbor if not demand her father keep her. Don't give him a chance to fight just say Im taking a shower Ill be done when I am done. If he starts a fight then kindly remind him it took 2 to make a baby and it takes 2 to raise one. If he won't watch her so you can clean up then leave his messes and dirty clothes and things for him so you can care for you and your daughter. He is not your child so don't treat him like one by helping him out. Take care of you and your daughter and see if you can get someone to watch her so you can have a break.
    brailynsmama08

    Answer by brailynsmama08 at 9:36 AM on May. 1, 2009

  • This doesnt sound like PPD , it sounds like you have an a - hole for a boyfriend............

    I agree w/ above post. Good Luck to you.
    bristle3kids

    Answer by bristle3kids at 9:42 AM on May. 1, 2009

  • Im looking back to when my child was that age, i was always tired, i slept with the baby on my chest most of the time, then about 4 months is when it got easier, the baby started to roll over, and was a point in whihc i liked, it does get better and better, I would say it sounds to me like you are doing a great job, you dont have ppd ( your not all psychoatic sounding) you are having normal life issues, Remind you SO that the baby is HALF his and you just want him to be a special part in her life and that you not telling him to take care of her just get to know her while you can go shower or run an errand etc.. hope this helped.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:47 AM on May. 1, 2009

  • I agree with 1st comment but will add : I realize you lost your mom and wish she could see her and hold her but what about his mom!? I would invie his mom to take on grandmama role, let her help when and if she can! No point in losing 2 grandma's unless his mom can't stand you!!! My heart goes out to you!!! It will slowly ease and get better once she starts sleeping through the nights, if you can find someone she knows and is comfortable with, you can have you time for 12 hours(give or take depending on the person).
    ladyd6280

    Answer by ladyd6280 at 9:48 AM on May. 1, 2009

  • What an asshole he is. You don't sound like PPD to me. You are bonding with your baby and absolutely being attentive, caring and nurturing to her. Good for you. But I totally get where you are coming from. I had my son and my parents came over to visit during the afternoons. My son's father hasn't met my son so I had no SO at the time to help me. I empathize entirely with you. It does get easier as you will find a routine and get the hang of being wonder woman. Your BF needs a swift kick in the ass. But that's just my opinion.
    lilbit022009

    Answer by lilbit022009 at 10:08 AM on May. 1, 2009

  • I would suggest talking to you doctor when you go in for your post partum check up. She will be far better qualified to tell whether you're suffering from PPD.

    I had my 4th miscarriage a few weeks and have had some trouble coping. I'v been confiding in my husband, and he confiding in someone he's close to. He became worried about me, and the person he's been talking to said it may be PPD. Instantly he flashed to women like Nancy Yates killing their children. He came home, took our gun to a friends house and took me to talk to a counselor. It was a little over the top but he was worried.

    Having PPD doesn't mean you want to or that you will hurt your child. It doesn't mean your crazy. It's much more common than people think. Talk to your doctor and she can recommend something, whether its counseling or antidepressants or both.

    Crystal1124

    Answer by Crystal1124 at 10:29 AM on May. 1, 2009

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