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Are "mothers" treated differently?

I have a 9 month old little girl. I am thrilled and grateful to have her. She brings my husband and I both a lot of joy. I can't help but notice- or think that I am treated differently- starting with my pregnancy. When I was pregnant and working- people were "nicer" but also didn't seem to take me as seriously in business and in general conversation. I am self employed and work from home- which can be tricky to balance, but does work. I LOVE my daughter but my work friends and other associations don't seem to view me as part of the "non-baby" world. I am not a "super mommy" type either- so I don't fit in that way. I do enjoy and care very much for my daughter- but I do still have other interests- business & current events. Has anyone else experienced this? I am thinking I need to find more- or new friends.

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KLOMAMA

Asked by KLOMAMA at 9:50 AM on May. 1, 2009 in General Parenting

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Answers (9)
  • I think sometimes yes. I also noticed that when i had my daughter, people were a lot more talkative to me, even on the street. I think having a baby earns you a certain level of respect. It's a hard yet wonderful thing to accomplish.
    samurai_chica

    Answer by samurai_chica at 9:54 AM on May. 1, 2009

  • once one become a mommy, it is hard for the non mommy friends to stick around. i know, i was the first of my friends to get married and have kids, when i got married i noticed things changing. but after i had my first baby, all they wanted to talk about was partying, drinking, and the wild stuff people do before pregnancy and babies. don't get me wrong we were never the hard partying people. they used to come to my house on the weekend and we would have movie night and do a little drinking and now since i have kids they do it at someone else's house. but they don't understand that i don't want to leave my kids at home all night and do the stuff i used to do. I changed a lot when i became a mother. and your friends just don't understand motherhood. so i have a new group of friends who have children around the same age as mine and i still have a couple of girls i still talk to from the past group.
    2wndrfl_btrflys

    Answer by 2wndrfl_btrflys at 9:55 AM on May. 1, 2009

  • As far as your work environment goes, I don't understand that. I felt like after i had my child that people were more respectful to me, but most people at my work already had kids. So maybe they felt as if they could now relate to me better. Maybe your co-workers feel the opposite, like they can't relate to you now that you have a child. People's lives change after children & everyone knows that.

    samurai_chica

    Answer by samurai_chica at 9:56 AM on May. 1, 2009

  • I think that when you become a mommy, your priorities should also change. I mean, really, who the heck cares where you fit in. Raise your baby, be happy with your family and screw the outside world. You have what you need right at home.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:58 AM on May. 1, 2009

  • yeah i didnt really get treated differently while was prego, but when i had my daughter it was like everyone respected me more. and now that shes almost 4 months (will be may 5th) people have WAY more respect, cause shes such a happy baby, and its basically like im doing it on my own, my hubbs is always out at the field or working late. dont get me wrong he helps out as much as he possibly can, but he didnt even see her awake yesterday. and i think people can see that. so they try to help out where he lacks (again not his fault) i mean if it was a regular job he would be home more, but hes in the army, so in order to get more rank to get more money he has to do what they say. so it works with me.
    LA09TKP

    Answer by LA09TKP at 9:59 AM on May. 1, 2009

  • I've noticed a lot since I became a stay at home mom about 6 months ago a lot of people (other moms too) don't seem to take my opinion as seriously. They act like I'm spoiled or something, like I don't know anything about financial troubles and stuff like that. It's really annoying and it is costing me some friendships.
    ajguinn

    Answer by ajguinn at 10:01 AM on May. 1, 2009

  • It sounds like youre just one of those people who wants one foot in both worlds. Nothing wrong with that at all, but people arent used to dealing with moms like that, so I don't think they know how. Its not as important that they take you seriously but YOU take YOU seriously. You cant make people treat you the way you want, but you can control how you respond to them. Especially in the business world. Just keep the same level of professionalism as you always do. It gets better as time goes on.
    momofsaee

    Answer by momofsaee at 10:15 AM on May. 1, 2009

  • No, not really. I haven't noticed it. I was treated a little different when I was pregnant, but mainly a few more opened doors and carried boxes. Nothing major. IT was more health concerns. And now that I have my dd, I fit in at work just the same.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:21 AM on May. 1, 2009

  • Thanks Everyone for the feedback. It has helped me see it more clearly. I started to think about this a little more. I think that a big difference is that when I was at a workplace everyday I was surrounded by literally hundreds of people daily. Now that I work from the house- I just don't get the same interaction- which is not necessarily bad- just different. I also realize that the people I am around now- because I have been self employed may not have even known me b/4 I was pregnant- so it is a very different perspective they get. I was an all business no nonsense all work no play focused person- and now I am more light hearted an fun due to by sweet little girl. I do think that I need to expand my base of friends to people who have kids my age. Many of my friends have done the baby thing and are kind of "been there- done that"- and I just have to respect that. Thanks Again- K
    KLOMAMA

    Answer by KLOMAMA at 2:26 PM on May. 1, 2009

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