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Should I...

I am thinking about coming out of the broom closet to my father in law and his wife. He is a very strict Pentecostal. I am kind of getting tried of how he pressures my husband to make us go to church. My husband has told him I am not a Christian, but he did not explain that I am a pagan. This man bad mouth pagans all time. It kind of offends me, but I keep my mouth shut all the time. I am afraid that he will make issues when it comes to our children. I kind of what to make a stand now about it, instead of waiting until our kids are old enough to be hurt by what my father in law says.

 
fireball1978

Asked by fireball1978 at 12:02 PM on May. 1, 2009 in Religion & Beliefs

Level 4 (38 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (30)
  • I think, if you're going to set boundaries in regard to your childrens' religious "education", the sooner you set them the better. So, if you're going to tell your FIL that you don't want him influencing them, I'd go ahead and tell him. I'd try to think of a way to tell him how you believe, and how you expect him to respect that, in a way that he doesn't feel attacked, and yet gets the point.
    But, when it comes to this sort of thing, sooner rather than later is usually a good thing.
    Good luck, with whatever/however you decide!
    *hugs!*
    bandgeek521

    Answer by bandgeek521 at 12:23 PM on May. 1, 2009

  • You should never feel ashamed of your faith. If you are maybe you should reconsider?
    God bless.
    mo2a27

    Answer by mo2a27 at 12:04 PM on May. 1, 2009

  • If you feel the timing is right...go for it.

    In truth, there probably will never be a perfect time because there will probably be backlash. However, you are smart to think of your children and how things might go in the future.

    I was waiting to come out to my family then my sister found out and we talked and I swore her to secrecy. Then she got mad and told everyone which didnt go over well.

    So, I say...go for it!
    Amaranth361

    Answer by Amaranth361 at 12:05 PM on May. 1, 2009

  • That's really hard. I don't know your FIL, but from the sound of it, this will be a battle if you say something. It's your DH's place to handle this if his father is offending you. You shouldn't have to sit thru someone offending your faith and pressuring you to do something you don't want to do. I do think it's time to say something, but also to prepare for the fall out and make sure your DH is going to back you. Good luck.
    jenlenr

    Answer by jenlenr at 12:07 PM on May. 1, 2009

  • IMO you should get it all out in the open now so when your kids are older, he will be used to it. I also think your DH should be the one to tell them or at least be there at the same time. It will probably be easier for him to break the news and tell them that you both do not want your kids to be subjected to their beliefs and stuff without permission.

    hannahwill

    Answer by hannahwill at 12:08 PM on May. 1, 2009

  • Mo2a27, she never said she was ashamed :) Sometimes, Christians ostracize nonChristians and when it is family business, it is a delicate situation.

    hannahwill

    Answer by hannahwill at 12:10 PM on May. 1, 2009

  • I am not reconsidering my faith Mo2a27. I have just as strong on convictions as u do. I do not want my child exposed to his brand of Christianity. I have no problem with my children learning about the Christian god. We read bible stories now, but I what them to learn about love and tolerance, not hatred and ignorance. I would like this man to be part of our lives, but I don't want him to teach my children his interpretation of the bible. I have been looking at going to UUC service.
    fireball1978

    Answer by fireball1978 at 12:13 PM on May. 1, 2009

  • Broom closet! Ha! I say stand up for your beliefs and teach your children what you want. You are their mother. Good luck!
    monkeyberry

    Answer by monkeyberry at 12:18 PM on May. 1, 2009

  • I think you and your DH should have a heart to heart about it first, and see what his thoughts are.
    If you think it may cause discord or strife in the family, then maybe it should remain on the down-low for a bit. If not, be prepared because the feces will hit the rotating oscillator . . . Even to the point of your FIL not wanting to be involved in your family anymore. Are you prepared for this possibility?
    jennijune_21

    Answer by jennijune_21 at 12:19 PM on May. 1, 2009

  • Then you have your answer. Teach your children about the Lord from your Bible, and tell him that YOU personally follow something else. I am sure he will be fine with it as long as he knows you are not trying to keep God from them. God bless. I will always pray you will find your way to God.
    :D
    mo2a27

    Answer by mo2a27 at 12:19 PM on May. 1, 2009