Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

My 17 year old is moving out tonight!

She will be 18 in 2 weeks.She is moving in with her bf and his Mom.They started dating in Jan.I am letting her go now b/c she has been so terrible to me and the other kids.She always cusses at them and screams.She has no respect for me at all.I told her I love her and she is always welcome to come back.Has anyone else been through this?If so what happened?Thank-you.

Answer Question

Asked by momofsixangels at 12:35 PM on May. 1, 2009 in Teens (13-17)

Level 8 (208 Credits)
Answers (14)
  • I went through this, BUT I was the terrible 17 year old. I eventually grew up and grew respect for my mom and now we are close. I don't think I've ever actually said "I'm sorry" but I don't think it matters now. The past is the past. Just let her go, she's a teenager and wants to do her own thing for awhile. Don't worry, she'll grow up one day.

    Answer by ABPeterson at 12:36 PM on May. 1, 2009

  • Well i'm sorry it's come to this, but as far as her always being welcome in your home, I wouldnt' allow her back untill she can show respect, if she wants to play at grown up games, then she better start acting like one. Best of luck to you

    Answer by Zakysmommy at 12:37 PM on May. 1, 2009

  • I am sure that makes you very sad and your heart breaks, but I am glad to see you protecting your other children. A lot of times with large families, we go through phases of one child upsetting the whole house and wreaking havoc on the entire family. Its imperative that it be stopped. I have one child that enjoys the attention and is the squeaky wheel per se. Its sounds like your daughter is failing to get her grease so shes moving on. Personally, I think she will come back. This too shall pass. Good luck.

    Answer by momofsaee at 12:37 PM on May. 1, 2009

  • ok this is hard. because i did this to my mom. but i have to say with all the hell i put her through, me and her are super close now. and have been since i was 18. so i dunno what to tell ya. just let her know your there for her, but dont overwhelm her, shell come around.

    Answer by LA09TKP at 12:38 PM on May. 1, 2009

  • You should make sure she's on BC, or else you'll be a grandma next! Good Luck!

    Answer by Rachel24517 at 12:39 PM on May. 1, 2009

  • Well my mom threw me out at 17 and yes I moved in with my bf and now we have two kids. I have grown a lot from the experience and my DH has made me a better person but I think we both wish we would have met in college because life was rough the first few years of living together. From 17 to 20 there is still A LOT of growing up to do, sometimes I wish my mom wouldn't have let me date and would have been more strict. Honestly just let her go since she is about to be 18, and tell her you are not welcome back unless you are going to respect my rules and everyone living here, tell her to please not come back until she is mature enough to be around everyone and show respect.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:41 PM on May. 1, 2009

  • do NOT TELL HER TO NOT COME BACK UNTIL.....etc etc. if you do that shell hate you and it will be different. trust me i was BAD i ran away got kicked out, all kinds of trouble. let her know your there for her and if she needs anything to come to you. but dont let her take advantage. thats what my mom did. and like i said we are super close. the way i came back is i got into some drugs and somebody died, that was the first time, then all the other times, they asked (for moms birthday and what not) and then the last time i came back i just realized how much i missed her, (and her cooking lol) i told her i was sorry, and now were like best friends. she works with my sister and talks toher maybe once a week, we talk everyday. with my sister they told her not ot come back until she was mature. now they barely talk. told me theyd be there for me and were best friends. which do you think is better?

    Answer by LA09TKP at 12:50 PM on May. 1, 2009

  • My sister was the same way. She caused so much turmoil in our house for my parents and myself (I am the younger sister). She would say the meanest things and when she turned 18 she moved out. The kicker is that my folks always told her she could come back, and ya know what she does and has for years. She is now 30 and she still goes back for money, a vehicle, rent, etc. It is very hard on my parents, she is awful to them still to this day. So as far as telling her she can always come back or not I think only you know your daughter and only you know if she'll be capable of respecting you and your family in the future. Sometimes I truly wish my sister would either grow up or stay away...I have lived through so many years of watching her walk on my parents and it angers me that she is capable of being so cold to them. Thank you for considering your other children, I wish my parents had....

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:30 PM on May. 1, 2009

  • Wow! I wish her luck. How will she be supporting herself? Does she have any idea of what things cost (food, gas, car and health insurance)?

    Answer by rkoloms at 1:47 PM on May. 1, 2009

  • She would be under house arrested in my house. No boyfriend, NO NOTHING! No tv, ipod, latop nada! I will be damned if my children are going to be disrespectful to us or mean to there silblings. If she went to live with that bf before she was of age I would call the police and file kidnapping charges. She would learn one way or the other to show respect and do what she is expected to do. I would not let her leave. And when she turns 18, I still wouldn't let her leave. I'd make sure she went to school and finsihed HS, and got staterd in college. I could NEVER turn my back on one of my children. If she is acting out that means she needs YOU more now then EVER! My aunt let my cousins run wild and move out, they had babies before they were 18, turned to drugs and have had such a hard life. If there mother just would have stud up for them they could have had such a different life now.

    Answer by Vanessannd at 2:47 PM on May. 1, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.