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Are you and your partner less intimate now?

Everyone said that after the baby you won't feel like having sex. I, of course, said that wouldn't happen to me. Well, it didn't right after she was born. We had sex on a regular basis (at least once a week). But now (nine months later) we aren't doing it but maybe once every three weeks. Now that we're not doing it often, when we do (I hate to say it) it sucks for me. He gets there to quick for me to even think about getting there. I'm starting to feel as if making love to me is a chore or unimportant. Is this a problem for other women out there? Any suggestions on how to fix it?

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Asked by Anonymous at 2:36 PM on May. 1, 2009 in Babies (0-12 months)

Answers (5)
  • well don't feel alone cause it happened to me also...what you need to do is take a night have someone keep baby all night if possible and go out to dinner and a movie, come home and get all romantic and try to keep it going as long as you can...that will help...good luck

    Answer by busymamma503 at 2:38 PM on May. 1, 2009

  • It's normal for things to fluctuate in this department... The reason it doesn't sound good to a lot of women right after the birth is hormonal.. but this doesn't effect everyone the same way... But that's not the only reason the bedroom can get neglected once you've had a child. You're tired, you're focused on different things, different tensions come up in parenting... The frequency is normal, but if you want to change it, you need to bring it up with your partner. And the way you're feeling about the experience in general you need to talk about with him, too. If he's super excited because it's been awhile, then ask him to take it more slowly, etc...The best time to have these conversations is when you're not in the heat of the moment, and when you're not holding your baby. Put baby to bed and have a little meeting about your sex life. If you're doing it as much as you want to, explain that. But it's important to talk...

    Answer by EmilySusan at 2:45 PM on May. 1, 2009

  • having a baby has ruined our sex life not because i lost my sex drive, its still there, but bcause the baby will never go to sleep and give us a chance. and if we try to do it during the day, we have to just let him cry, which i hate doing. once a week is not enough for us. we have ended up just putting the baby in his crib at 8:00, we do our thing while th baby cries, and he ends up falling asleep right when we're done lol but my hubby has to get up at 5 am so if hes not asleep by 8:30 he cant get up. so we have to do it early. i miss the days of doing it whenever we watn. having a baby is such an adjustment. it changes every single aspect of ur life. it sounds like to me that u guys just need to make a real effort to do it more often and u need to tell ur hubby u would like him to help u get there before he does. go for a quickie when the baby takes a nap or stay up late on Saturday nigths and get intimate while the baby sle

    Answer by Butterflysky_24 at 3:44 PM on May. 1, 2009

  • We are having the same issues right now. I am tired and he gets angry and says it's an excuse. I get angry because I feel like he isn't doing his fair share of being a parent so he has no right to be angry. We talk about it and things get better for a bit. I think we both just get frustrated and then don't communicate. We are both definitely at fault.

    Answer by Liz0808 at 11:38 PM on May. 1, 2009

  • Yup. I have an 8 week old and we've done it 2 maybe 3 times. She sleeps with us and rarely naps on her own, so, there you have it. I wonder if our sex life will ever be the same.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:13 AM on May. 2, 2009

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