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my 11 year old often tells me about the bullying behavior from one of her friends. this friend's mom and i are friends. i have seen her kid being mean to other kids and talking really mean and cruel stuff about other kids behinds their backs. this morning the mom called me and asked if i had noticed another of the girls friends "being mean" to her daughter. i have noticed her daughter being mean, and the girl in question defending herself against it, but other than that, just normal girl dynamics. i told the mom they are all mean to each other sometimes and left it at that.
should i have told her that her daughter seems to be the main meanie, or did i do the right thing?

it's gotten to the point that my daughter doesn't want to play with this girl anymore.


Asked by Anonymous at 2:36 PM on May. 1, 2009 in Tweens (9-12)

This question is closed.
Answers (8)
  • You were smart to do what you did. I would probably let the girls work it out themselves. Parents are not usually very "open" to hear that their child did something wrong (EVEN IF THEY DID). Just arm your daughter with knowledge on how to stand up for herself and how to deal with bullies/mean kids.  It sounds like your daughter already figured out by not playing with the other girl anymore.


    Answer by momjs at 2:55 PM on May. 2, 2009

  • i would slap that little kid in the face

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:38 PM on May. 1, 2009

  • I would tell her that you witnessed her daughter being mean to yours. Maybe she'll realize it's her daughter that is bad.

    Answer by BradenIsMySon at 2:38 PM on May. 1, 2009

  • yes it was good to stay neutral and say "thats how girls are" but telling her her daughter is like that woulsnt hurt either. she might become defensive, but truth is sometimes best told! maybe she already knows. maybe the daughter gives her attitude behind closed doors.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:42 PM on May. 1, 2009

  • Kids tend to act out a little more when they aren't around their parents. I would tell her about her daughter's behavior. By saying they are all mean to each other, she may take it as the girls are equally behaving badly. The mother needs to know so someone can address the girl. Otherwise she'll continue to make the other girls uncomfortable.

    Answer by Jenuines3 at 2:49 PM on May. 1, 2009

  • I would keep your daughter away from her. If the other girl attends the same school as your daughter, and the bullying is occurring at school, then notify the school administration.

    Answer by rkoloms at 2:49 PM on May. 1, 2009

  • my daughter is going through that now.ive seen this girl in question being hit by her mother.they acted as if i wasnt even there.she is also very aggressive in sports.her mother has her doing laps and running up 45degree my feeling is nature or nurture...the mother has also asked me the same thing and i also stayed nuetral.but sometimes i feel like saying your daughter is an aggressive bitch because of you but i never do...

    Answer by raineydays377 at 3:01 PM on May. 1, 2009

  • this girls mom is sarcastic and teases her alot (not in a mean way), but i've never seen any evidence of physical abuse...i kind of think the girl just thinks she can get away with it. she's really "sweet" around adults and acts like a jerk around kids (i spy on them out the window soemtimes, just to see what goes on!).

    Answer by beff at 1:09 PM on May. 2, 2009