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I send bio-mom her check twice a week.....

My husband has arrearages that accrued while he was unemployed.He is now working and has since resumed his obligation to his children. In order to help him, I send her my personal checks every 2 weeks with the specified amount. I am sending it this month with a Congratulations happymothers day card. We are not in good terms. She is a mean nasty person who can not be satisfied no matter what. How would you percieve my action? would it make you upset? would you think i am being sarcastic? would it not matter to you? woud it offend you that I am sending my personal checks? how would you feel about the mothers day card?

Someone please let me know I really want to know. I don't have bad intentions but as I previously stated, everything I do is considered bad anyway. I am not trying to prove anything, I am only trying to help my husband so he does not have to get angry every month when he writes his check. So far its great!

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mrs.stepmom

Asked by mrs.stepmom at 3:17 PM on May. 1, 2009 in Relationships

Level 4 (54 Credits)
Answers (9)
  • Wow. I think you are putting entirely too much thought into this. I would just send the check or MO in a plain white envelope addressed to her, with nothing else, well, maybe an invoice with the balance, nothing else. It does sound like you are trying to start something, I would say. Is it worth it? No, just send the money.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:20 PM on May. 1, 2009

  • If everything you do is percieved as bad I wouldnt send her a card, note or anything but the check. Why arent you sending the money through the courts anyway?
    okmommy08

    Answer by okmommy08 at 3:22 PM on May. 1, 2009

  • There is no need for bad blood between her and you. If you know everything you do will be interpreted as a bad thing, why bother? The biological mother doesn't want to maintain things civilized so why give her ammunition to start a war over something as trivial as a mothers card? Just let it go, make the check put it in an envelop and let the ships fall where they might. Keep records so she can't come back to claim she never got it. You are an awesome wife for doing this for your husband.
    bebita

    Answer by bebita at 3:28 PM on May. 1, 2009

  • If she is as nasty as you say she is, then she will probably take as you being sarcastic. I wouldn't send her anything
    bbysqd

    Answer by bbysqd at 3:29 PM on May. 1, 2009

  • I woudlnt' send it in the card.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:34 PM on May. 1, 2009

  • I am so grateful for your answers! I am going to place it i an empty envelope and that is it.
    mrs.stepmom

    Answer by mrs.stepmom at 3:42 PM on May. 1, 2009

  • She has been teaching the children that I am no one in their lives . I thought that by sending the card i would acknowledge her as their mother and she would back off from thinking that I am trying to replace her which is not the case.
    Thank you for your answers.
    mrs.stepmom

    Answer by mrs.stepmom at 3:57 PM on May. 1, 2009

  • I wouldn't send her jack but the check. However, on the childrens special days..you bet Dad and I would make sure they had a fuss made over them...in BOTH our names.
    GrnEyedGrandma

    Answer by GrnEyedGrandma at 4:32 PM on May. 1, 2009

  • I would not be making the payment at all. That is your husbands responsibility. I would think that my ex was being wussy if his wife was sending me the CS. Even if its money that you generated, you and your husband are a team but it needs to come from him to her. My ex has his wife do all the bills, and that's fine, but theres not reason for her to be making the payments to me.

    As far as the card goes, my ex's new wife and I are very platonic. We aren't friends and I don't plan on being enemies. I don't send her special thoughtful cards, and I would think it very very odd for her to send me sentiments. Just keep it plain and simple, very business and don't think about this too much. Too much stress and too much drama for your own life, between you and your husband and the children can feel the vibes. :) Keep it simple.
    lifeasinoit

    Answer by lifeasinoit at 4:51 PM on May. 1, 2009

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