Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Scaring my daughter

My neice 10yrs old loves to come over and spend the nite the weekend my brother gets his visitation with her. The problem is that my daughter ( 8yrs old) has been scared by her. My daughter said she told her NOT TO TELL anyone. She said she peeked through a hole at school and saw a bloody mattress and sees ghosts etc. I know my brother would not handle it in any way. What would you do? isn't it bullying?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 7:20 PM on May. 1, 2009 in Tweens (9-12)

Answers (8)
  • Just talk to her and tell you will not stand for that and your daughter has to tell anythings she has told her. Most important keep a close eye on her and don't close any doors when they are in a room so you hear what is going on.
    Tell your daughter when someone tells her "not to tell" there is a good sign that she should tell because they are saying or doing something wrong.

    Answer by gammie at 7:26 PM on May. 1, 2009

  • I'd pull my niece aside and privately ask her if it was true. Put her on the spot. If she says it is true, ask her where it was, etc. Have her see you follow through on her "claim".

    I'm guessing she will either deny having said it or break down and say it wasn't true.
    Then bring your daughter in and have your niece tell her what she just told you.

    If she denies having said it in front of your daughter, you can later point out to your daughter that your niece isn't truthful and can't be believed...including the bloody mattress and ghosts.

    If your niece is a tough-cookie and elaborates on this story and leads you on a merry goose chase, she's bound to get caught telling the lie when nothing is found. (If nothing is found....notice I'm trying to be open-minded that she may have seen something that she couldn't explain.)

    Either way, you'll get down to the truth and your daughter will see everything is okay.

    Answer by timelessglass at 7:31 PM on May. 1, 2009

  • I think that she has a very vivid imagination and perhaps hasn't learned yet to differentiate reality for make believe. You mentioned that she is coming from a divorced family and has visitation, she could be doing it to grab attention or to cope with the situation, either way it s scaring your younger child and it needs to be stop. Iwould explain her to never ever ask of our child to keep a secret from you and ask her if anybody has asked that of her. Also, tell her tha you love her and are not mad at her but you will have a serious talk with her parents if she keep making up stories involving secrecy and blood which are not appropriate stories for your child's age.

    Answer by bebita at 7:38 PM on May. 1, 2009

  • OH I forgot my daughter ran to my room 3 nights straight at about 3 am cause she was so scared.

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:39 PM on May. 1, 2009

  • It sounds to me like your niece has seen a few too many horror movies that are inappropriate for her age level. I agree with everyone above. Keep an eye on your daughter and confront your niece about it. But I don't really think its bullying. I think its more teasing and she's just trying to see what she can get your daughter to believe. My cousins and I used to do this to each other all the time. Whenever we would spend a week at my grandmother's in the summer we used to torment each other...whoever kept the youngest up the longest at night won. You just gotta explain the age difference to her.

    Answer by metalhealthmama at 8:58 PM on May. 1, 2009

  • I wouldn't call it bullyin, just your niece telling scary stories. I would sit down and have a talk with her and tell her that she cannot keep telling your daughter scary stories and if she doesn't stop, she will not be allowed to sleep over for a while.

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 11:39 PM on May. 1, 2009

  • I would definitely talk with your niece about this first and confront her on this. Telling her not to tell says she knows that it's wrong and she is being sneaky. Sounds like she could be reading mystery books or watching scary movies or something. Why don't you think your brother wouldn't handle it in anyway, like you state?

    Answer by cat4458 at 6:58 AM on May. 2, 2009

  • your neice probably is jelous of your daughter and is going through some problems with her family . I would not let her scare your daughter or let her talk like that to her.

    Answer by Newbegginings04 at 2:47 AM on May. 3, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.