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help.....16, w/ baby and confused

Im so sore from this c section and I have no one to help out with the baby he is only 3 weeks old and my mom wont help because she say its my responsibility and she is upset with me because I got preg at such a young age with no father for the baby and she wonts nothing to do with the baby which is so onfair to the baby because he has nothing to do with what happened and he didnt ask to be here and she shouldnt take it out on him. He wont stop crying at night I get no sleep and im so tired I have been thinking about giving him up for adoption its just to much for a 16 year old to deal with...Im not backing out of anything i just think that he needs more and deserves more and deserves a mom and dad and need somebody ready for a child, what will u do?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 4:05 AM on May. 2, 2009 in Babies (0-12 months)

Answers (14)
  • Come to my group its called " from one teen mom to another. We can help you and support you through the whole thing if you would like us to! I am a young mother but not a teen mother, my son is 15months old and my hubby and I had to do it all alone. I do not know everything but I have compassion and I can help you! Message me.
    Bugsmommy1908

    Answer by Bugsmommy1908 at 4:20 AM on May. 2, 2009

  • The soreness will go away.Honestly you're at one of the most difficult time periods right now..where they're so incredibly needy and they never sleep etc. All I can say is hold on, because it does get easier, but this is just par for the course. You can't have a child and skip the hard part. Eventually they get to be more fun, playful, and understand you more etc... not that they listen lol. I honestly think you'll regret giving her up.. but only you know your situation. Every first time mom thinks it's impossibly hard.. hell even veteran moms feel that way. It is do-able.Eventually your body adjust to getting less sleep, eventually baby sleeps more, is hungry less often, etc. It does get easier. I don't think your mom is punishing your baby, so much as she's trying to teach you a lesson.

    s.teph

    Answer by s.teph at 4:36 AM on May. 2, 2009

  • I think you need to think about your priorities. You can either give the baby up, and continue being carefree and young.. doing whatever you like, possibly regretting it forever... or you can decide to grow up faster than the rest of the kids your age, and sacrafice yourself, your fun, and your life for a little while (You will always sacrifice to an extent for your child, but the worst is when they're babies).. and be rewarded with unconditional love and an overwhelming sense of fascination and love for your child. I can tell you that it does get better the older they get, and that every time they learn something new your sense of accomplishment is renewed... just think about it.. because you can't go back. You're talking about a permanent choice, and this child may not forgive you or want contact later.

    s.teph

    Answer by s.teph at 4:41 AM on May. 2, 2009

  • Don't beat yourself up, I'm on baby no. 3 and some days I want to give them ALL up for adoption (even though my oldest is almost your age!) One day your baby will sleep more than ten minutes at a time, and then next thing you know they see you come into the room and smile and hold their little arms out and giggle when you pick them up and believe me, you forget all the bad stuff that came before (all my kids were C sections, I feel your pain!)
    But do what is right for you and the baby. if you haven't bonded with your child and adoption seems like a good idea, go ahead and do it. tons of parents would love to have a child and can't. My stepsister was adopted as an infant by my stepmother (before she married dad), she met her birth mother and they got to know each other, but they didn't form a warm relationship but then didn't seem to suffer from it either.
    plylerjones

    Answer by plylerjones at 5:43 AM on May. 2, 2009

  • Please hear Me on this one = You could give this BB to a Family that could Love and provide for Him so much more than you ever could. It is not a Bad choice or is it wrong. You are so young and have so much life ahead of You. You will get a chance someday, when You are older, married, secure and ready to have a BB. Also dont forget You can arrange with adoptive family that You would like them to keep in touch with You over the years. This could be the smartest dec. You ever make in Your life. Good Luck to You.
    bristle3kids

    Answer by bristle3kids at 6:46 AM on May. 2, 2009

  • Message me if you just need someone to talk to and someone to listen. Your mom can be mad at you all she wants, Your child shes wrong for taking it out on the baby. You will sleep again and the pain will go away soon it will get better. I have right where you have been so message me and i will talk to you..
    raemommy

    Answer by raemommy at 6:51 AM on May. 2, 2009

  • You poor child. Your mother is punishing your baby because she is mad at you? There are many couples who can provide a baby with a loving home; open adoption will allow you to remain a part of this baby's life, and give you the opportunity to finish your education. Contact any synagogue, church or mosque in your area, and you will be able to get the help that you need. You can also call the cradle: www.cradle.org. They are an adoption agency in Illinois that can provide you with the information that you need. Good luck to you and your little one; I know that you will do what is best for both of you. Please let me know how you are doing.
    rkoloms

    Answer by rkoloms at 7:36 AM on May. 2, 2009

  • I was 15 when I had my son, and I had to do most of it on my own too! I did have help from my grandparents (so I can work) but there are many resources out there. I thought about giving up my son for adoption, he's 2 now. I love him more than anything. I do not regret my decision to keep him, in fact I plan on trying for another one next year! (I'll be 19) Things will get easier... if you need someone to talk to, I'm here for you!
    Annabel1809Lee

    Answer by Annabel1809Lee at 7:48 AM on May. 2, 2009

  • Honey, I think you got hit with the baby blues pretty hard. Trust me, a lot of mommies go through it! I know that it is hard, especially while you are still healing, but I promise, if you can get through those first 6 wks, you can do it all! The first 6 wks are really hard, I had 3rd degree tearing and stitches all up my hoo-hoo, and of course my stomach hurt like crazy, and even rolling out of bed and picking up the baby was hard, but it gets easier!!
    srhmldndo

    Answer by srhmldndo at 8:07 AM on May. 2, 2009

  • Hey sweetie - I'm just going to say prayers! I can't relate to your situation, but my heart goes out to you! Here's a practical tip for soothing your baby - there's a book and also DVD (because what new mom has time to read?) called "The Happiest Baby on the Block." It talks about the 5 "s's" - shush, swaddle, suck, side and swing. Swaddle baby tightly with hisarms straight by his sides (he'll get mad), turn your baby on his side as you cradle him in your arms, go SHHH - to make white noise or even turn on the vacuum/air purifier, give baby a pacifier to suck on and "swing" by rocking fast, swinging your baby from side to side (be sure the head is supported!). My little guy had colic & also like to be patted on the butt. I hope things get better with your mom, and you are able to make the best decision for you and baby - they are so precious, no matter how big a pain in the butt they are! Message me if you like :-)
    mevxoxo

    Answer by mevxoxo at 8:55 AM on May. 2, 2009

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