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How do I keep my son out of trouble????????

He is on his way to JDC and he does not care if he gets himself into trouble. Everyday I am at work I am waiting for the phone to ring and their calling to tell me he is in more trouble. I am walking on pins and needles. Please help!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 
hcashe216

Asked by hcashe216 at 5:25 PM on May. 2, 2009 in Teens (13-17)

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Answers (8)
  • You don't. You raised him with morals and a sense of right and wrong and you have to let him make his own choices and suffer the consequences when he makes bad choices. He probably thinks that he won't end up in JDC or that you will get him out of his trouble. DO NOT get him out of any trouble he gets in. My mom bailed my brother out of trouble since he was in 6th grade and my brother has no idea how to make good choices. He has been in and out of jail. Your son just needs a huge dose of reality. Let him get in trouble, you can't stop him. I have always told my son that if he has to be brought home by the police because he did something wrong, he is to tell them to keep him. I will not bail my child out for making poor choices when he was taught otherwise and taught right from wrong. Sometimes tough love is called for, as hard as it would be, I know it would be for the best.
    tyfry7496

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 12:55 PM on May. 3, 2009

  • The truth is, you can't keep them out of trouble. It is inevitable, but you are right to be concerned. Talk to your local police department and see if they have any "scared straight" programs for teens. These are programs that show teens what could happen if you get in trouble. Sometimes they take you to local prisons where the inmates will talk to the teens about what they did and the error of their ways. Sometimes, hearing it from someone other then mom is more effective. GL
    TheDiva320

    Answer by TheDiva320 at 5:28 PM on May. 2, 2009

  • HMMM...is there anybody that can help supervise your son? That might help, but if not maybe that's what he needs to straighten up. I don't mean that in a negative way either, I just mean that sometimes we have to fall on our faces to learn that being down is not where we want to be. I know that raising teen boys is hard. I have 4. Is he in any sports or activities? That also helps keep them out of trouble. Maybe get him in to see a counselor? Good Luck MOM!
    Me2dznb

    Answer by Me2dznb at 5:41 PM on May. 2, 2009

  • I have often thought about what I would do if my daughters got into anywhere near the trouble I got into as a teenager. My thoughts keep going to removing them from the situation - moving, or putting them in a different school. Even if I had to move across the entire country, or to another country all together, to try and get my child back on the right track, I would do it. My needs come after my child's needs. I think if your child is headed to a juvie hall, then it's time to rethink his environment.
    texassahm

    Answer by texassahm at 5:43 PM on May. 2, 2009

  • I really don't think a change in the environment will do much. Truth is, you can't run from the problem and if he's going to get into trouble, it won't matter where he is. He has to learn to face the problems and the consequences. I was a crazy teenager too. I dread the day my son is a teenager, but I also know that I've been there, done that. I hope with educating him on what COULD happen will deter him from getting into trouble, however I also know that I can't prevent it. Like Me2dznb, sometimes we have to fall on our faces before we realize that the path we are on is a dangerous one. Of course no mother wants to picture their baby falling and we try to prevent that at all costs, but sometimes you just have to back up and let them figure it out.
    TheDiva320

    Answer by TheDiva320 at 7:37 PM on May. 2, 2009

  • I am exactly where u are...my 16 yr old is athletic and will be a senior next year with colleges looking at him for a scholorship....but just this weekend he was aout at 1am with a 19 yr old who got a dwi and blew a 1.8...with my son in the car and 3-14yr old girls...my son was not where he told me he was going to be..where does the trust come in?? there is more to the story about that night and my son has to meet with juvenile hall monday....now he went thru scared straight at our local jail when he was 14 and he came out crying like a baby..(what i wanted) and he has turned around but he just dosent think decisions thru and i have had to eliminate some friends that were bad choices,,and of course i am the bad person here...my 14 yr old son is fixing to go thru the scared straight program also..he is the one exactly like ur son..he is very violent and destructive with household walls and he has nothing but a bed in his room
    boysblah3

    Answer by boysblah3 at 10:49 AM on May. 3, 2009

  • Your son needs to be kept busy. Soes he have any interests? He can volunteer at a hospital, nursing home, senior center, after school program, police or fire department, animal shelter, park, etc. He can work. He can call the Red Cross and become a RC certified baby sitter (my 13 year old often makes $50 on weekends, charging $5-8 dollars an hour). You need to get creative and get the child busy.
    rkoloms

    Answer by rkoloms at 11:38 AM on May. 3, 2009

  • You can't stop him. And if he gets into trouble, and gets sent away somewhere, maybe it will be for the best. It can open his eyes and make him realize he has been travelling down the wrong path.

    Good luck.
    summerdayz

    Answer by summerdayz at 6:00 PM on May. 3, 2009

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