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How to get a 14 yearold to stop smoking?

My 14 year old is smoking and I am a smoker and so is my husband. The way I see it he is going to smoke nomater what anyone says. So should I let him???? I did when I was his age and so did my husband.

 
hcashe216

Asked by hcashe216 at 5:57 PM on May. 2, 2009 in Teens (13-17)

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Answers (15)
  • Ok, I have to say something here. Just because she and her DH smoke, does NOT mean that it is their fault that their son started! I don't know about the rest of you, but when I was 14, if my parents lectured and hounded me, I probably would have rebelled against it. You can try to stop him, but ultimately it's up to him if he is or isn't going to smoke. You can't watch a 14 year old 24/7. Personally I'd talk to him, of course make sure he understands the health issues, the rising cost, etc, etc. All the bad things about it. I'd also make a point to scare him a bit with the legal aspect of it. I don't know what state you live in, but here in CA it's illegal to smoke or be in possession of tobacco if you're under 18. Meaning, if he were to get caught, he'll be arrested/ticketed, have to go to court, have big time fines, possible community service, probation, etc. Good luck- I wish you the best!

    dannydawna

    Answer by dannydawna at 8:06 PM on May. 2, 2009

  • I believe as parents it is our job to protect our children, I do not see how allowing my child to smoke would be protecting him. In fact it would be harming him. But is it also harming him for you to be smoking around him. Another reason I wouldn't allow him to smoke is it is illegal for him to buy cig. and I definitely wouldn't buy them for him. If he really wants to smoke he can wait until the law says he is old enough to buy them himself. I would not encourage this behavior but probably the only way you can stop it is to stop yourself. If you forbid it he is going to say why not, you do? I guess it depends on what example you want to set for him.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:01 PM on May. 2, 2009

  • where does he get the money for cigarettes? He smokes because you and your husband smoke. He'd be less likely a smoker if the two of you never did it. If he gets cancer, then it's on your heads. I am sickened by parents who have an "oh well, we smoke, so it's inevitable that my kids will too" attitude. It's YOUR FAULT he smokes! What this questions says to me is "I care about smoking more than I care about my own child. I won't quit smoking to save my child's life"...do you ever even think of it that way? Because even if it's not a concious thought, your actions speak louder than words. Someone who knows you should turn you in to CPS for endangering the life of your child. You don't deserve to have a child if you don't take action right now.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:02 PM on May. 2, 2009

  • let him no
    enable him no
    it is horrible for his health
    but if he wants to do it he will sneak and do it
    but dont make it ok for him
    mommymeg03

    Answer by mommymeg03 at 6:05 PM on May. 2, 2009

  • their right, since you smoke theres not much you can say to him to make him quit. he'd have to see you and your hubby making the effort to quit in order to do it himself. as for allowing it, i would not allow it in my home or around me at all. you can tell him he can't smoke, and make sure he doesn't have access to yours if you don't quit that way he has to make the $5-$7 a pack to get them himself and find someone to do so. theres no way i'd ever buy my 14 yr old child ciggs. i'm a smoker myself and am in the process of quiting i just can't imagine saying to my daughter at any age before 18, ok well its your body when it comes to that
    vabchmommy

    Answer by vabchmommy at 6:09 PM on May. 2, 2009

  • At 14,if I caught mine with one in their mouth,I would make them swallow it whole.Who is the parent in your house? That is a big problem today,parents let kids do whatever they want.I made mistakes as a teenager,is that a reason,to think it is ok for my kids? I want better for my kids,you should too.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:13 PM on May. 2, 2009

  • I did not say it was ok for my son to smoke. I do not provide his cigs. for him. Sometimes he gets them from school. And no we do not smoke around him. I know its a bad habit. I have quit 6 times. Thats why I lecture him on not smoking.I did not expect a lecturd myself by asking that question. All I asked for was help!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    hcashe216

    Answer by hcashe216 at 6:24 PM on May. 2, 2009

  • Just because you don't smoke around him, doesn't mean he doesn't know you do it. Stop making excuses...you ARE getting help - we're trying to give you a kick in the pants and snap you out of your normal way of thinking. Sometimes that's what you need in order to make a better decision. Don't get defensive, just listen and take all our opinions to heart. Call the cops on the person you know is supplying the cigs for him. OR - MOVE. An expensive thing to do, but take your child totally out of the environment where he feels comfortable bumming cigs off his friends. Take away all his money, do not give him access to any money at all, no money, he'll have to bum the cigs, pat him down, search his backpack - become the police in your home. Tell him it's not okay. Explain you have an addiction and end it for him. If he does it when you're not around then at least you're doing your best to protect him while in your care.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:33 PM on May. 2, 2009

  • Everyone is my family smokes and I have NEVER smoked, I think it's disgusting!
    He's 14 years old! What else is he doing? How is he getting money for his habit?

    It was much more excepted due to ignorance when we were kids then it is now. Now there we really know how it kills us and all the other bad things that go along with it,
    gothlingmom

    Answer by gothlingmom at 6:52 PM on May. 2, 2009

  • Both of my parents smoke, my older sister smokes, everyone on my mother's side of the family and all CLOSE members of my father's family smoke.

    I never picked up a cigarette a day in my life. It is NOT inevitable. You're enabling him by not putting your foot down. Do you want him to be ill? If he's getting them at school, check his bags on his way in the door, flush the cigs. Don't let him go out with the kids he's getting them from, keep him indoors... do what you have to to get him away from the influences..

    And more importantly... be a good example. Quit.
    catwalksymphony

    Answer by catwalksymphony at 7:46 PM on May. 2, 2009