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I feel,

Like im not a good mother... like maybe i wasnt ready to be a mom. I feel like im gonna fail completely at being a mom and not gonna be able to tell if something is wrong with my daughter... i constantly think something is wrong and i constantly feel like im not doing things right and like i should be doing more... my daughter is a month old & already all these feelings?... is she eating enough? is she sick? is she ok? am i doing this right or that right.... i am so overwhelmed that im not doing things right or that im not gonna provide like i should ( not financially ) for my daughter... im struggling so much right now with this... it makes my stomach hurt how much i feel guilty and how much this over takes me on a daily basis... help??

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 12:19 AM on May. 3, 2009 in Babies (0-12 months)

Answers (9)
  • Sounds like you have PPD. I would call the dr and get the "I don't give a shit pills" :) jk(joke at work) But really, I don't know what they do for PPD, I don't know if they give medicine, or recommend you to a therapist or what but its a common thing that you really need to get help with :)
    amy31308

    Answer by amy31308 at 12:22 AM on May. 3, 2009

  • It will be okay. Those first few months are tough adjusting to being a mom. You should call your OB and let her know what's going on and how you feel. I believe most places have you take a survey about how you feel in certain situations and whatnot with the baby and yourself. Is anyone there to help you?
    KareemsMami

    Answer by KareemsMami at 12:25 AM on May. 3, 2009

  • This could be the baby blues or it could be post partum depression. All moms have these feelings from time to time. But when they start to overwhelm you, when they keep you from enjoying your baby, then you need to take to your doctor. If it's just the baby blues, it will pass soon. If it's PPD, it will ease with help. Let your doctor help you figure out which it is. Please, please, please go talk to your doctor. You are worth it. Your baby is worth it.

    I'd also suggest you join a moms group. You can join a national group like www.MomsClub.org or www.MOPS.org or you can look for a local group on www.meetup.com or at yahoo's group section. It really helps to have other moms you can call.
    kaycee14

    Answer by kaycee14 at 12:26 AM on May. 3, 2009

  • I think what you are feeling is normal .... well for first time mommy's...I went through the feelings although they said it was 'baby blues' and I had other reasons I think for going through it...I had an emergency C-section that went bad and was layed up for the first 2 months of my daughter's life so it was real hard for me to accept a lot of things! I would talk to your OBGYN about the feelings u are having and she/he can put you on something and you will feel better, trust me. I'm glad I talked with mine and I'm glad I'm on something to help with the feelings I was having, and I don't have them anymore I know I'm doing best I can and she's healthy and happy that's what matters!
    Diamondgurl08

    Answer by Diamondgurl08 at 12:52 AM on May. 3, 2009

  • I felt the same way about this time. You kinda get into a routine then they change theirs and you never know if they are getting enough to eat and you cant go to sleep without checking if they are breathing. My baby girl is 5months and I still feel this way! I never know if I am doing the right thing and i still check to see if she is breathing before I go to sleep! But the depressive part goes away. I promise. When they scream, try the diaper, try playing with them, then try feeding them. They will eat when they are hungry and shouldnt go more than 4hours (unless it is the night) When she starts smiling at you, you will KNOW that you are doing a good job. Ill be sitting on the couch and my lttle girl will just look up at me and smile, and I still dont feel confident in what I do. Just do your best and cheer up, you are doing fine Im sure. Your concern says how much you care
    HunnysFarAway

    Answer by HunnysFarAway at 1:14 AM on May. 3, 2009

  • I have an 8 wk. old and the first 3-6 weeks were incredibly difficult. This has been the most difficult thing I"ve ever done in my life. I started staying with her at home on my own at 3 wks. and there were seriously days when I thought "I can't go on, I need to just get out for good." Of course I'd never abandon my kid and DH, but I was way way overwhelmed and felt deceived like "why didn't anyone tell me how hard this would be?" My DD is colic-y and cries ALL THE TIME. The first 4 weeks I couldn't even put her down for a second without her going crazy and I thought I would lose it. But now that she's 8 wks, it's already better. It WILL GET BETTER.
    danielp

    Answer by danielp at 1:22 AM on May. 3, 2009

  • The thing is that if it didn't get better, people would have 1 kid and stop at that but people don't. People forget how hard the first few weeks are. Only a few people have honestly told me the first 12 wks. suck b/c infants are really helpless and don't often give any positive feedback. Take it one day at a time and you will survive. I've found that getting dressed and ready everyday helps me feel more together and start going out with your kid as soon as you can do it. Even though it seems like a huge hassle, you need to get out and start feeling normal again. Call your doc. or go in if you're worried about things, they're used to new parents being paranoid. I'm sure your kid is fine, you're just in that funk. It will go away.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:25 AM on May. 3, 2009

  • There were a few times my husband would catch me on our steps crying so bad into my hands saying I can't do this, I can't do this, she hates me, I am a horrible mother. I would just keep telling myself every day, she is still alive so I must be doing something right. It does get easier, get her to about 8 weeks and you will be an old pro and wonder what the heck you were thinking before. Once she is sleeping through the night really good and you finally get some good sleep your whole attitude will improve. Hang in there mama, i was with you just a few weeks ago thinking the same thing. Just remember your OB is still there for you and call him or her and just let them know whats going on. And your baby's doctor is just a phone call away if you think she may be sick day or night. You are doing everything right, worring about your child will always be there but you will learn how to better handle the worring.
    vickwu

    Answer by vickwu at 8:48 AM on May. 3, 2009

  • as long as she has food and shelter over her head u are doing a great job.no one could do a better job then her mother!out of all other people its u she will want.`its normal to feel this way and it will go away.
    angelairelan

    Answer by angelairelan at 9:36 AM on May. 3, 2009

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