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Sex after baby?

I had my son almost 4 months ago by emergency c-section. I labored most of the day and dilated to 5cm before things went bad. I haven't been interested in sex at all until recently. My husband has been very understanding, but he has needs. Anyway, we tried to have sex last night for the first time and I couldn't go through with it because it was excrutiatingly painful. I was in so much pain we had to stop because I couldn't stop crying. The only way I could describe the feeling was it burned inside of me. I guess I assumed since I didn't deliver vaginally sex would be easy but boy I was wrong! We used tons of lubrication and went slow, but I couldn't take the pain. How am I going to get back to a normal sex life? Has anyone else had this happen? Did it get better? I guess I'm looking for reasurrance that it will get better and I'm not the only one who's dealing with this. Advice is appreciated!

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 12:23 PM on May. 3, 2009 in Babies (0-12 months)

Answers (5)
  • You need to call your OB.
    Mangy_Momma

    Answer by Mangy_Momma at 12:28 PM on May. 3, 2009

  • I agree, you should talk to your doc. That doesn't sound like it's normal...at least not in my opinion.
    Babyness

    Answer by Babyness at 12:40 PM on May. 3, 2009

  • well since you havent had sex since having the baby, you are "tight" down there, and most likely you are healed by now. SO and I had to take it very slow, but it was very painfull. but after a few more tries it started feeling good and now we're back to normal lol
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:01 PM on May. 3, 2009

  • I think it is normal. It's hormones... if you're breastfeeding and you're anything like me, it will start to sound better and feel better around 6 months as the baby nurses in fewer feedings (more spread out). It's not about being "tight" down there or stretching/damage from the birth (obviously), it's about the lack of lubrication, which is all based on hormones. Using a lubricant helps but doesn't solve it entirely because it's hard to get really lubricated on the inside. I'd advise spending as much time as possible on foreplay, etc, because the more natural lube you can muster, the better. Sorry if that's getting a little graphic, but it's true. And you may just not be able to have full intercourse for awhile... you can still satisfy your husbands "needs" in other ways, and can probably find some things that will be enjoyable for you as well. For me, after both c-sections, things started looking up around 6-7 months.
    EmilySusan

    Answer by EmilySusan at 2:17 PM on May. 3, 2009

  • It will get better. I didn't have a c-sect. but I really believe I was sewn too tight after the episiotomy. I am smaller then I was before pregnancy..and it isn't a good thing. We use a lot of lube...and take it slowly the first few seconds. At 6 months later...its still a little hard..but it does feel normal after a couple of minutes. but maybe you should be checked by your gyno just in case.
    mommylovesu28

    Answer by mommylovesu28 at 4:31 PM on May. 3, 2009

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