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This is so aggrivating! am i in the wrong?

My dh is deployed, he hurt is back and doesn't go out on the road, at least till it gets better. so now he has time to call me whenever he gets off duty, which is like 2-3 times a day. Now, i love talking to my husband, but jeez! he calls me in the morning, noon and night. the past few nights he's even kept me up till 2am. i had nothing to do then,so i didn't mind. well yesterday was my "day off", where i dropped the kids off at the daycare. i went home and cleaned the house, and got online with him. I havea friend in the hospital, someone i met after he left so dh doesn't know who he is. i wanted to go visit him for the first time there, cuz i actually had no kids tagging along. well, my dh got upset that i wanted to get off with him and go visit him! we got into an argument about it, me telling him that my life DOES NOT freeze when he calls me. so i got mad, said i love you and just left. (continued)

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 2:06 PM on May. 3, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (32)
  • I can't believe that you are b*tching about your hubby calling you 3x a day when he is deployed. I don't think you should go and spend time with some other guy and blow your hubby off. Yes, you are in the wrong.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:07 PM on May. 3, 2009

  • Are you smitten with your friend?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:10 PM on May. 3, 2009

  • I'm sorry and maybe I have misunderstood but he's your husband right?
    My husband is gone a month at a time with his job and Im always available for him when he calls. He's working hard to give us an awesome life and I Love and respect him more than anything in the world. Your husband desreves no less then that. He's deployed, missing home, you, his life there, it's seem like to me you don't have very much respect for him, going to see other men, whether it's just a visit or not it's wrong. You need to take a look at your marriage and figure out if that's what you really want. JMO..
    MrsLeftlane

    Answer by MrsLeftlane at 2:11 PM on May. 3, 2009

  • WOW! I treasure the time I spend on the phone with my husband. It is the world to me. I would drop EVERYTHING to talk to him! You are very much in the wrong to blow off your husband for someone else especially considering where he is. How would you feel if, God forbid, that was the last conversation you had with him?????
    ZaTa

    Answer by ZaTa at 2:11 PM on May. 3, 2009

  • nope you aren't wrong at all. my hubby is navy, they are on a smaller ship that only pulls out for about 7 days at a time and pulls into port for about 10 days after that, so when hes in port he calls about twice a day, or expects me to get online on skype or yahoo and talk to him for hours on end. i'm not saying i don't love my hubby and the fact that our daughter gets to talk to him as often as she does, thats great. but seriously, i mean after an hour what is there left to talk about? they can't tell you anything and you can only tell them so much about regular stuff happening at home thats pretty boring so then you just sit on the phone not talking, wasting calling card mins. i've told my hubby that before to, that i love him but i have stuff i have to do here like take care of our house, our daughter, pay the bills, grocery shop and everything else that doesn't get put on hold just b/c he left, and if i sit around all CON
    vabchmommy

    Answer by vabchmommy at 2:12 PM on May. 3, 2009

  • sorry I'm confused. Is your dh deployed in a war zone or stateside, Europe? Maybe try counseling to sort out which guy to be with? It looks like your dh believes you are honoring your marriage to him but in a roundabout way your not? I am very grateful to our military and families and can not say for sure what your going through. I have been a military wife though but not in war time. I have been cheated on by my husband. My husband does travel alot. I urge you to get counseling through the military care of with a minister or United Way, Displaced Homemakers.

    No matter why dh is deployed at the very least he loves talking with you. So many of our military and others not even in military of just civilians throughout our times have been lost due to war, accidents, illnesses and we'd give any thing to be bothered by their calls. Your children deserve and your husband and you too and your 'friend' deserve respect.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:12 PM on May. 3, 2009

  • (continued) anway, i had him call me later that day cuz i had to tell him something. i told him i was with my gf so i didn't want to be on the phone long. well he got upset about that. so i'm like, whatever. then he calls me later that night, to see if i'm at home. i had picked up the kids from daycare and brought them to my gf's house cuz she invited us for dinner. well we decided to leave my kids with her teen for a little while so we all, meaning her, me, her husband and a couple other friends of mine, could go visit our friend in the hospital. so i told him that's what we were doing, i'd call him when we left. well we didn't end up leaving till midnight, and he called me right then. he asked if i was going home, and i said no, i wasn't planning on being out that late, the kids are already asleep at her house, i'm just gonna crash there. well he got mad that i couldn't talk to him cuz i was busy. continued
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:17 PM on May. 3, 2009

  • CONT talking to him none of that is going to get done. he tries to be understanding but its hard, they don't get that part of it. that life here doesn't stop it still really goes on and we have to be the ones to run it. as for wanting to get off the phone to visit the guy in the hospital, theres nothing wrong with having a friend who is a guy, but it probably through your husband through a loop when you said you were getting off the phone with him to go see some guy hes never met. they have the same worries we do about that kind of stuff when they are gone, so you have to give them some time to get used to the idea, and reassure him that there is nothing going on between you and this other man. i personally would not have gotten off the phone with my DH to go visit a man he's never met, i'd have waited til the call was done, and told him thats what i was doing afterwards.
    vabchmommy

    Answer by vabchmommy at 2:17 PM on May. 3, 2009

  • Both of you are in the wrong. I think you should be happy that he is able to call you...but he should realize that you have grown acustom to not speaking with him regularly. Another thing is that..I can totally understand why he is mad. Wouldnt you be upset if he got off the phone with you to see a "female friend" in the hospital. Yeah...you both are wrong.
    VannahsMommy06

    Answer by VannahsMommy06 at 2:20 PM on May. 3, 2009

  • I can understand your frustration. My first husband traveled a lot for business & we talked every day. But honestly, once we got past the how was your day, the kids are find, how's the weather stuff, it was hard to find things to talk about. He was working all day, I was taking care of the kids & the house. Our time zones were all screwy so he would be getting in bed right when I was trying to bathe the kids. I don't think you are wrong for wanting to visit a sick friend in the hospital but I do think it was hurtful to your DH to tell him you had to go specifically so you could see a man your DH has never met & that you wanted to do it while the kids were busy. Even if this man is just a friend & you had nothing more than kindness in mind, was it really necessary to hurt your DH that way? Had DH even heard of this man before? Was it a friendship you discussed with him? DH has a right to be mad at you for that.
    funnyface1204

    Answer by funnyface1204 at 2:22 PM on May. 3, 2009

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