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I just found out I'm expecting in Dec., but when I called my mom, she told me I needed to do the responsible thing and get an abortion.

I'm 28 and have 2 other children that I take care of very well. I have diabetes and 2 previous c-sections, but when she suggested that it started a huge fight and a hung up phone call. What advice can you give me on tryinig to get her to come around? We live across the united states from each other and just started having an ok relationship since I moved here to Alabama 7 yrs ago. I have a good job, GOOD insurance and a very loving devoted boyfriend that is very supportive and excited.

 
fantasitcmama1

Asked by fantasitcmama1 at 2:45 PM on May. 3, 2009 in Pregnancy

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Answers (13)
  • I am going to look at this from your Mom's point of view just for a second. She knows that you have diabetes and that was her first thought when she heard you say you were expecttng again. It was fear talking when she said what she did.Fear about you and what you may go thru. Now, for you, that was the wrong thing to say and she is probably thnking about what she said and regretting it. Before you get real good and pissed at her, put yourself in her place.She doesn't want anything to happen to her daughter. Call her and ask her if you can talk without fussing , then ask the question you would liike to know;why did she say that?you asking her is better than wondering,isn't i? Let her know what the doctors have said about your situation.
    Kat122

    Answer by Kat122 at 2:58 PM on May. 3, 2009

  • That kind of suggestion doesn't come out of the blue...WHY did she say such a thing? You'll need to marshal proof that her outlook is incorrect.

    You may not be able to get her to come around, though. Be prepared for that.
    gdiamante

    Answer by gdiamante at 2:47 PM on May. 3, 2009

  • She will come around when and if she is ready. Until then be happy and enjoy your pregnancy. It is your choice, your child, your body and your life and if you can afford the child and love another child and be a good mother to another child then go for it.
    brailynsmama08

    Answer by brailynsmama08 at 2:49 PM on May. 3, 2009

  • You're kidding right?! I've never heard of a grandmother saying something like that about her future grandson or granddaughter. You don't owe her any explanation and don't worry about her coming around. And how is an abortion " responsible?"
    cookiedough100

    Answer by cookiedough100 at 2:50 PM on May. 3, 2009

  • I don't know what to do to get her to come around but I know that this is YOUR baby and its up to you what you want to do. If you believe you can take care of another child, which I believe you can, then by all means, have your child.
    I don't see how getting an abortion is the "responsible" thing to do. My mom would kill me if I got an abortion, not that I would but everyone sees things different.
    I wish you luck no matter what you decide to do.
    Marix3

    Answer by Marix3 at 2:50 PM on May. 3, 2009

  • Parents are crazy creatures. That was the first thing my mother said when I told her I was pregnant with my first at 23. This time around she is all thrilled. I don't quite get it either.
    MythicMMM

    Answer by MythicMMM at 2:51 PM on May. 3, 2009

  • When i found out I was pregnant my mom was a little sad because she wanted me to wait longer to have kids, but now she's thrilled. When I told my SO mom, she told me that if I loved him I would have an abortion. NOW she's thrilled. I secretly hate her for saying that.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:55 PM on May. 3, 2009

  • She was probably afraid for your health, and that fear is what triggered her intitial reaction to say something like that...as wrong as it was of her...but I wonder if she really meant that. In my opinion getting an abortion is no where near the "responsible" thing to do...taking responsibilty for your own actions and having the child and doing your best to care for it is the responsible thing to do...abortions are the easy way out. But if you are going to keep this child, I personally don't feel you need to explain yourself to your mother or anyone else for that matter. You are an adult and can make your own decisions. If your mother doesn't agree with that...oh well. She'll either have to get over it or she can be bitter about her new grandchild for the rest of her life...but that will be on her shoulders not yours.
    Ash9724

    Answer by Ash9724 at 3:10 PM on May. 3, 2009

  • wow, that was kinda rude huh? The only things that come to my mind is what does the doctor say about this high risk pregnancy? Thats what counts right. Medicine has come long way and there are so many things that can be done to make sure mom and baby arrive safely. Good luck and god bless...
    calviesmom

    Answer by calviesmom at 3:34 PM on May. 3, 2009

  • My dad said something similar to me with my first child and wanted to know why I wasn't having an abortion with this one (my 2nd one). I still do this day don't quite understand it but I love my dad and just tried to ignore the comment. He loves my son and I know that he wouldn't have it any other way now.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:57 PM on May. 3, 2009