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How can I stop feeling this way?

My mom has gone to take my brother's family and my 11 year old brother to the movies to see some cartoon 3D movie. My husband has gone to work on one of his friend's computers for free. And now, I'm here with my 18 month old autistic son. We were offered to tag along for the movie. But my son freaks out at loud noises and a theater is loud! So now, my big excitment for the day is to try to make it through a grocery shopping trip without any melt downs. I'm jealous beyond belief that my husband is gone to a friend's and everyone else I know if at the movies having fun. I shouldn't feel this way b/c I wasn't exactly left out. I just wish when people made plans every now and again they would consider my son's special needs so me and him could get out, too. Sorry for the rant ladies.

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Asked by Anonymous at 2:46 PM on May. 3, 2009 in General Parenting

Answers (5)
  • You stop feeling this way by ranting to the people involved. Not saying don't rant here. But no one will just GIVE you a break. You need to state that you need a break.

    Answer by gdiamante at 2:49 PM on May. 3, 2009

  • I can completely understand your frustration!!!! Perhaps you can just sit down sometime and have a little heart to heart talk with your mom (over coffee and donuts maybe) and just explain the situation to her. Make sure you emphasize that you do appreciate all the things they invite you to do, but because of your sons situation you can't usually take part. Ask her if maybe once in a while she could invite everyone to a picnic in the park.....or to go to an indoor activity center where your son might enjoy himself more? Good luck!!

    Answer by alphabits2003 at 3:51 PM on May. 3, 2009

  • OP-I am in the same boat as you...but i have two autistic sons...they're now 7 and 5, and while it hasn't been easy, everyday it gets better!

    WHY your husband has left you and gone to the movies without you? Does he give you "days off, too?!" I would have told my husband, "no movies," because I need him at home to help me with OUR son--he should be wanting to spend TOGETHER as a FAMILY on the weekends, regardless of how much he works!

    I was a SAHM for the past 8 years (just started working again). While I was home, I made the best of the situation, by slowly renovating our basement into a safe and fun place for our boys--think preschool classroom--bright and colorful paint, posters, area rugs/remnants, lots of beanbags, pillows, stuffed animals sofas, messy crafts area, a movie and music area--using an old TV, stereo and DVD player--to create our little learning and playing "oasis!" Perhaps you can do something similar?!

    Answer by LoriKeet at 4:06 PM on May. 3, 2009

  • I'm sorry, that sucks! I think the only way to help is to tell those you love that you REALLY need a break. I make my husband put MY days on his calendar. That day is mine and he is in charge of our daughter the whole day and I get to do what I want, even if I stay home the whole day. My MIL signs up to keep DD overnight about once a month or so. My aunt and/or sister will come take her to the park every once in a while and I NEVER decline any offer. Once you start declining, they stop offering. To get this all started, I make sure they know it's difficult to be in charge of a little person and that I would appreciate any help they feel like giving. I also reinforce by thanking them profusely afterwards. Feel better! I hope you get a well deserved day off. :)

    Answer by AndrisMom at 5:10 PM on May. 3, 2009

  • I've almost gotten used to be excluded due to my autistic son! Some people just don't get it.Not saying your family is this way,don't get me wrong.Sometimes they just don't feel like they want to be party to the meltdowns,selfish I know.Was their invite serious,or did you feel like it was a pity invite? You definitely need to make your needs/feelings known.If you're still excluded,I guess that's your answer.

    Answer by TMJ121099 at 9:05 PM on May. 3, 2009

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