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I'm not equipped to handle this!!

I have never been an overly emotional person or a crier, I've always been logic minded. But for the past few months all my 10 year old daughter does is cry, and whine, and treat everything like it's the end of the world! I don't know how much longer I can handle this, the crying and whining is like fingernails on a chalk board. Sometimes when she starts freaking out because she can't find a shoe and so now her entire day is just ruined and she might as well go back to bed and she won't stop crying, I just want to hide under my blankets until she goes away!!!
Is this normal? Am I a terrible mom?

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 5:18 PM on May. 3, 2009 in Tweens (9-12)

This question is closed.
Answers (8)
  • I have an 11 yr old crier, whiner and its the end of the world child as well. First, you know its her hormones going nuts. I would take the advice of the first post about what shes eating too. Secondly, you have a child that has a different personality than you. You need to let her express what shes feeling. Just give her some guidelines. First, crying is okay. Nothing wrong with it. Its okay to say how you feel, but there should be no yelling, no screaming, no door slamming. My husband and I have 4 kids. My self, my middle daughter and my youngest son are communicators. We have NO problem crying, telling others how we feel, telling someone off, or just expressing emotion. Everyone always knows where they stand with us. The downside is that sometimes we get over dramatic or make extremes out of things. My husband, oldest daughter and oldest son are internal processors. They do not cry outwardly very often...cont.
    momofsaee

    Answer by momofsaee at 8:47 AM on May. 4, 2009

  • No you are not a bad mom. But you have to remember what it was like to be her age. It's puberty mom. It will be like this until she is about 18. Trust me. You can get through it. Just remember yourself at her age and try to be compassionate and understanding. It's alot of drama, I know. Explain to her why she is feeling that way, but let her know it's not okay to freak out about everything. Tell her you are there if she needs you, but that there is other ways to dealing with this than drama and stress. Good Luck Mom.
    m-avi

    Answer by m-avi at 5:21 PM on May. 3, 2009

  • I was like that at her age, fortunately, mine is rarely like that. It is hormones going bonkers. When she is calm, it will be very helpful for both of you if you explain to her why she sometimes gets crazy. It really is just as hard on her as it is on you. There are some dietary changes that you can make that will lessen the symptoms (honestly, this is a precurso to PMS): cutting back on or eliminately meat and dairy, making sure that she drink lots of water, avoiding processed foods and sticking with healthy foods like fruits and vegetables, whole grains and beans. Easy on the sodium and sugars. Lots of good fats, like avocado and olive oil.
    Make sure that she is fully prepared for her first period; she should have a small case in her backpack or locker with clean undies, pads (make sure she knows how to use it), and a ziplock.
    Feel free to contact me directly if you have any questions or need to vent. -Robin
    rkoloms

    Answer by rkoloms at 5:29 PM on May. 3, 2009

  • OP here- she knows why she acts like this- and tries to use it as an excuse every time I tell her to chill out. I'm just having a hard time relating. I didn't go through this. According to my mom there was very little change to my attitude. When she's not freaking out she's great. It's just that she freaks out more often than not. I really hope this passes soon.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:15 PM on May. 3, 2009

  • I am the mother of an extreme drama queen. I don't want to know what would happen if she lost a shoe. The world would probably end. I really don't have any advice, but did wanted you to know that you are not alone.
    sparrowprincess

    Answer by sparrowprincess at 6:40 PM on May. 3, 2009

  • they deal with what they are feeling by getting quiet and just processing on the inside. Theres usually no talking about how they feel. They just deal quietly. The upside to that is that they become self sufficient in their minds, but the downside is that they bottle up. People who do not express emotion in SOME way will eventually explode. Sometimes its anxiety, sometimes its anger. Other people have a hard time reading them and you usually have to pry information out of them. They also usually hide emotions. When they get to be teenagers this is an unhealthy mix because teens are quite secretive to begin with and when you have an internal processor mixed with secrecy....you have to actually WORK to keep the relationship with them going. They won't tell you anything unless you ask and even if you do, they still might not. So be glad that shes willing to express herself. Just guide her. Sit with her and calm her down and talk.
    momofsaee

    Answer by momofsaee at 8:51 AM on May. 4, 2009

  • My dd has been that way since she was 5. Cries over every little thing. If her shirt is winkled she will cry for half an hour. She's now 7 and it's finally getting better. We got her "The Feelings Book - The care and keeping of your emotions" There is a journal that goes along with it that helps them express their feelings. It seems to have helped. GL!
    sadira29

    Answer by sadira29 at 11:32 PM on May. 5, 2009

  • Its normal, we all have to watch our babies go through it, I swear its just as hard on us as it was them.
    If you can remember how it was for you, you'll know her hormones are running WILD right now and she doesnt know which end is up. Sometimes I just shake my head at what sets my daughter off.
    But we got through it and so will they.
    summerm

    Answer by summerm at 1:10 AM on May. 7, 2009