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Relationship advice...

Is it okay , in an arguement, to bring up the ex wife? For example, I want to ask my SO if he used to get in arguements involving spending time with his family. We do all the time and I still wonder if that was an issue with him and his ex wife back then. I know when two people get divorced, both people are at fault somehow and maybe that was a big issue with them???
Can I ask him? How?

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 6:05 PM on May. 3, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (9)
  • I wouldn't bring up the ex. Ask him to explain his reasoning when you fight.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:06 PM on May. 3, 2009

  • well its one of those things where we both think were right and nothing ever gets resolved. He also wants to leave so im constantly asking him to come back in the house and talk. idk
    CidneAndNaomi

    Answer by CidneAndNaomi at 6:11 PM on May. 3, 2009

  • Are you both Leo's?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:12 PM on May. 3, 2009

  • If you want to ask dont do it in an argument. Just ask in a civil convo.
    abbynzachsmommy

    Answer by abbynzachsmommy at 6:21 PM on May. 3, 2009

  • I think it depends on the person. Some people are ok with it, others aren't. I do think that IF you decide to bring it up, it would go much more smoothly if you do it when you are both calm, not in the middle of a fight. I also would not approach it as "we fight a lot, did you fight with her, too?" or anything along those lines. It may make him feel defensive, and as though you are blaming him not only for fighting with you, but for his other relationship failing. I would approach it more as that you are curious about what happened. To me, it is perfectly logical to be curious about what happened in a failed relationship, and he may be fine with that, as long as you don't bring it up in a fight.
    tropicalmama

    Answer by tropicalmama at 6:24 PM on May. 3, 2009

  • To anon: No, we are both Sagittarius. Nov. 27th and Dec. 13th
    CidneAndNaomi

    Answer by CidneAndNaomi at 6:25 PM on May. 3, 2009

  • I wouldn't bring it up at all. The past is the past. When you fight and he leaves does he leave for a long time or is it just tell he cools down? I will do that because in the heat of an argument I'm not thinking and talking in a civil manor isn't going to happen. If he's leaving for a short time, like an hour or so he may just be cooling off. If its longer you two may have deeper issues that we can't fix here.
    teamquinn

    Answer by teamquinn at 6:34 PM on May. 3, 2009

  • I do not see what it matters what they argued about. You are not her and your realationship is diffrent. Worry about what is going on in your realationship now and do not focus on the past.
    my2kids312

    Answer by my2kids312 at 6:43 PM on May. 3, 2009

  • Leo and Sag...almost the same thing..
    Sag always think they are right.
    My mom is one ..LOL
    I have no problem asking my fiance about his past relationship with his X.
    I would say you act selfish...did so and so ever say that about you.
    they I will say, I will not tolerate it so what are we going to do.
    He is your SO you should beable to talk to him about anything..
    good luck
    Dannee

    Answer by Dannee at 6:54 PM on May. 3, 2009

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