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how can i move out and know my boyfriend cannot take my daughter from me?

ok here it goes..... my boyfriend and i have been together for 4 years and we have a 13 mo baby girl. he has been treating me like crap for a long time and im just tired of it. i have been offered a place to go just on the other side of town but....it is with another guy. my daughter and i would be taken care of and i wouldnt have to worry about bills or anything. i just want to know if he would be able to keep me from taking her with me. if anyone has been in the same boat please let me kno, i need some help.... :(

 
danimama308

Asked by danimama308 at 8:12 PM on May. 3, 2009 in Relationships

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Answers (12)
  • Honestly i would sit down and talk to him and explain that you want to be civil but romantically this is not going to work and you would like to move out. My fiance and i have had the "what if things dont work out" conversation before. I have told him before that if we split up our DD would live with me but by no means would i ever keep her from him so he knows that if i leave there is no need to go through the courts and hit each other where it hurts. unless your bf is abusive or your child is in danger than i suggest you just be honest with him. since you have a child you are stuck dealing with him for the rest of your life (unless he is abusive or chooses not to be involved) if you talk to him most likely he will understand that you are not trying to keep his child from him and accept it in a healthy way and things wont escalate.
    Kennadismom

    Answer by Kennadismom at 9:25 PM on May. 3, 2009

  • If you take her he could charge you with kidnapping.

    It's his daughter to. It does not matter to the courts that he treats you like crap unless he abuses you and you have proof. What you are doing is wrong and you will not get away with it.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:16 PM on May. 3, 2009

  • Karma...Muahahahahaha
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:17 PM on May. 3, 2009

  • will this guy pay for a lawyer? or mediator? could you get a restraining order?
    stummegirl

    Answer by stummegirl at 8:19 PM on May. 3, 2009

  • You really should consult a lawyer. He can't take the baby from you, but he can get joint custody if he so desires. Be careful.

    Even though the two of your aren't married, he has as many rights to the baby as you do. If you up and take the child without his knowledge, it will not turn out good.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:19 PM on May. 3, 2009

  • Taking your DD and moving is NOT wrong. You don't have to put up with crap from anyone. i would fine a lawyer. See what she says. But as long as you aren't taking her out of state and he can see her whenever he wats, it's not like you are kidnapping her. if he is abusive get a restraining order.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:20 PM on May. 3, 2009

  • This would not be a good idea. You need to leave on good terms for the sake of your daughter and figure out a custody agreement. The above poster is right, if you take her he could charge you with kidnapping and that could be used against you in the case of custody. Also, some other guy does not sound like a very solid idea. Does you or your daughters dad have jobs? If you are not providing for her yourself and he can that could also be used against you. Don't just assume because you are the mom you will get custody. If you are depending on some other guy to provide for her you are going to look bad. Just step up and take care of your daughter yourself. Prove that you can do it and you shouldn't have a problem. He will still get to have some custody of his daughter of course. She is his too.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:26 PM on May. 3, 2009

  • Single moms have a false sense of entitlement when it comes to child custody...
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:34 PM on May. 3, 2009

  • Men are NOT sperm donors..they are the FATHERS of these children and they have just as many rights as the moms do...I think there should me more public service announcements and seminars that inform single men of their rights as fathers.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:36 PM on May. 3, 2009

  • First off. Neither of you could be charged with kidnapping if either of you left with the child as long as your name and his name are signed on a birth certificate. If you leave with her he can petition the courts for joint or even sole custody. If he goes for sole cusdtody you will need to prove you have a job, a home and can provide for her. Be very careful. If he is abusive start a paper trail now. Each time he is abusive call the police. If he hits take pictures and do NOT keep them at your house.
    GrnEyedGrandma

    Answer by GrnEyedGrandma at 8:39 PM on May. 3, 2009

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