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How do you keep them out of trouble?

My sis n law is 18 and lives with me. she used to do drugs... not any more though. but she lies a lot and dresses like a skank and draws all kinds of negative attention to herself and my house... so how can i approach her, adult to adult... and let her know how i feel, without making her feel like im playing "mommy" to her??

Answer Question
 
trystons_mommy

Asked by trystons_mommy at 8:20 PM on May. 3, 2009 in Adult Children (18+)

Level 14 (1,507 Credits)
Answers (6)
  • Just come to her, and say something along the lines of "Such-and-such (her name) I really like having you living with me, you're a great person. But the clothes you wear really don't portray the beautiful woman you are inside. I think we should go shopping, and get you a couple new outfits that suit you better. What do you say?" And take her to get some clothes, and "help" her pick them out. Non-intrusive, but gets the point across.
    Annabel1809Lee

    Answer by Annabel1809Lee at 9:11 PM on May. 3, 2009

  • I have a son that just turned 19. It's all about the social life that is for sure. They don't seem to hear what we say at this age, but I am hoping deep down he does! Good luck and I give you a lot of credit for taking in an 18 year old! (Yep I know I have no answer)
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:18 PM on May. 4, 2009

  • The answer that Annabel gave is great advice, that is wisdom in this situation. We do not want to tear another person down and degrade them. We are Women too.
    meb3

    Answer by meb3 at 12:22 PM on May. 4, 2009

  • YUP! I agree with Annabel.
    incarnita

    Answer by incarnita at 9:28 AM on May. 5, 2009

  • Let her live her own life however tell her the consequences of her negative actions (she has to get out if she brings trouble into your home). No drugs, no alcohol, no ....whatever your rules are
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 7:18 PM on May. 6, 2009

  • Just tell her, but don't use the word "skank". She might get defensive and fast. Let her know that she lives "with" you and that brings some respect issues. If she wants to live a certain way, she needs to do it somewhere else. You will respect her and the person she is, but respect flows both ways.
    jesse123456

    Answer by jesse123456 at 7:43 PM on May. 11, 2009

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