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How do single moms and military moms do it?!!!

My husband works 24 hour shifts and will sometimes do several in a row. He's even been gone for a week at a time. My 5 month old son is so needy. He wants to be held all the time. Even when he's sleeping, he wont' sleep without me next to him. I can't even put him down for a nap or to bed at night without him waking up if I get up to do something. I can't get anything done. I feed, change, play, feed, change, play, sleep with my son ALL DAY LONG and ALL NIGHT LONG all by myself. I love my son but sometimes I just want to cry. Especially after I've put him down to sleep and work around the house is piling up and he wakes right back up again. He also has ezcema and keeps scratching at his face which is making his Impetigo worse and worse and worse. I feel like a bad mom, like I can't even begin to do it all.

I feel so frustrated and tired. How do you guys that have no help do it?!

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 12:21 AM on May. 4, 2009 in Babies (0-12 months)

This question is closed.
Answers (18)
  • i sooo agree with the other moms, let him cry himself to sleep girl. i learned that the hard way with my ds, and let me tell you, my dd has been putting herself to sleep since she was 4 weeks. i did that especially cuz dh deployed only a few months after she was born. i agree with the housework, sometimes you just have to let things go. unload the dishwasher in the morning, and put the dirty ones in when you're done with them, then turn it on at night. as for laundry, i do it during nap time, if i have a nap time. if they don't want to sleep, then they go to their room anyway. my ds plays in his room, i put dd in her crib. if they cry, they cry. sometimes they put themselves to sleep, sometimes they don't. i at least try to do one load of laundry at naptime. as for the floor, that's done after they go to bed, but i don't have carpet. if you have to vaccuum, there is no harm in doing it right before he goes to bed.
    armywife43

    Answer by armywife43 at 12:42 AM on May. 4, 2009

  • i dont know either, ESPECIALLY single moms because at least military moms get the extra income even if their partners are away :]
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:23 AM on May. 4, 2009

  • well first you're right you can't do it all. let the housework pile up, it won't be the end of the world. do what you have to, to make sure that you have clean clothes and dishes, but otherwise don't worry about the dusting, or vacuming, or moping until you actually have a chance to do it. next, he's 5 months old, alot of people aren't going to agree w/me, but let him cry himself to sleep when he wakes up at night or from his nap, put him in his crib or somewhere safe so he can't roll off your bed and let him cry. its hard but it makes things easier in the long run. as for the scratching at his face, can you put gloves on him so that he doesn't actually scratch? and call to doc to see if theres something you can put on his face to keep him from scratching. but really you just have to remember that you can't do it all, some days will be good, most won't but you'll be ok and you'll make it through.
    vabchmommy

    Answer by vabchmommy at 12:25 AM on May. 4, 2009

  • Just take care of your child. Yes, house work piles up and sometimes it looks like a tornado just passed through but at the end of the day that isnt what is important. You can wear your baby, at least that way you will have two free hands. Keep goin, you can do it. =)
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:29 AM on May. 4, 2009

  • for one. military does not get paid well at all, unless your an officer. i made better money when i worked at taco bell then when i did in the army. not bashing anon though. thats just my point of view, so dont take any offense from it. second, you kind of get used to it after awhile. my hubbys in the army, and will be at the field for two-three weeks at a time, and i have my daughter all by myself, ive gotten used to it, but i do think you need to put him down and let him cry, start teaching him how to fall asleep without you. cause you obviously need a break, my daughter is only 4 months, she sleeps on her own, and is a genuinly happy baby, only cries when shes hungry or wet. your not a bad mom. your babies testing you. put him down in his crib with the lights off with a mobile with lights and music playing, let him cry himself to sleep, it may be ten minutes but he will fall asleep if hes tired. just make sure you feed him
    LA09TKP

    Answer by LA09TKP at 12:30 AM on May. 4, 2009

  • and stuff, give him toys to play with, get baby einstein or even spongebob, a half an hour a day so you can get stuff done isnt gonna hurt him. every mom needs time to themselves. ask a friend to watch him, or someone you trust. and again you are a mom, nobody can expect you to have a sparkling house when you have a child under a year old in the house. but trust me it gets easier, just get him on a schedule. and teach him hes not gonna fall apart if your not touching him every second of the day, if you have to put him in the crib, pat him softly on the belly until he falls asleep talking quietly and then after hes been out for a couple minutes walk away, and then gradually jus put him in the crib give him kisses and hugs and let him go to sleep. hell be ok. and again it does get easier. mine used to be the same way.
    LA09TKP

    Answer by LA09TKP at 12:36 AM on May. 4, 2009

  • Your doing great mama. Dont get down on yourself, I think being a parent is tiring and draining, period. When my daughter wont sleep without me, and/or wont let me put her down, I put her in her sleepy wrap. It's sooo handy and comfortable, and she LOVES it. It also makes doing housework POSSIBLE! It's easy on my back, too, which was great because all the other slings and baby carriers ive tried give me a terrible backache after only twenty minutes or so. If you want to see it, you can look on my page I have a couple pictures of me wearing her in it, or you can go to sleepywrap.com. Their also very affordable :)

    Keep your head up! Your baby wont be so clingy forever, enjoy it because you'll miss it someday.
    kate_jocelyn

    Answer by kate_jocelyn at 12:41 AM on May. 4, 2009

  • You should check out flylady.net. Make out a routine on paper for yourself and your baby. try sticking to the routine. You need to find a balance. your baby is probably fussy because of his skin conditions,he probably has allergies. What is he eating? heres an example of a routine for you: morning routine:

    get up make your bed as soon as you get out of bed, shower and get dressed in something that makes you feel good. while your in you bathroom getting ready clean your sink and toilet really quick while your in there. (i keep a roll of paper towels,disinfectant and a toilet brush by my toilet)
    Start a load of laundary and unload your dishwasher. Start breakfast/feed baby.
    lay baby down in his/her crib while you re load laundary and or take a coffee break or workout.
    AFTERNOON ROUTINE:
    reload laundary /fold put away all laundaury, feed baby /play with baby. lay baby down. or put baby in play pin while you fold your laun
    Newbegginings04

    Answer by Newbegginings04 at 12:48 AM on May. 4, 2009

  • you'll learn to let the house go as your baby gets older, trust me. my house always has toys on the floor cuz my ds is 2, and at 5 months it's nothing compared to 2 lol. sometimes after a hard day, i just look at the floor, say screw it, relax and watch tv. it's gonna go right back on the floor the next day anyway, right? lol. it's not all the time i do this, just after the really hard days. don't worry momma, you're doing fine

    oh and i have to agree, the military doesn't pay squat! LA09TKP, you know they're getting rid of reinlistment bonuses?
    armywife43

    Answer by armywife43 at 12:48 AM on May. 4, 2009

  • it's very tough, both my husband and I are in the Marine Corps, we both have such busy schedules (his is more hectic than mine, he is training to deploy soon) so I have become the primary caregiver, he helps out when he can but for the most part I'm it. It's very frustrating, but I'm sure your doing great...your baby is healthy, well fed, and happy. give yourself a pat on the back!! :) my son can be really fussy sometimes too, he loves to be held when he sleeps, I've found that putting him in the "Boppy Pillow" after he's fallen alseep will sometimes trick him into thinking i'm still holding him lol. so i can get some stuff done around the house. just keep trying different things and remember...you're doing great!!!!!
    robbinsme

    Answer by robbinsme at 12:49 AM on May. 4, 2009